The Conspiracy of Baby-Switching novel Chapter 81

Felicity is in tight blue jeans and a cute pink cashmere sweater; her long dark hair is in a high ponytail and her perky boobs are high in the air.

What kind of bra does she wear, anyway?

Eventually, Lucia comes into view, and she and Dom make their way down to the car, and get into the backseat. "Hi, guys." I smile. "Hi, Mom."

"How was your day?" I pull out into the traffic.

"Good," they reply.

"Arnold pooed his pants. He had a stomach bug."

"Oh." I wince. "Poor Arnold. Is he okay?"

"That kid's got real problems," Dominic says as he looks out the window.

"Mom, you wouldn't believe what happened to my lunch today," Lucia says.

My eyes flick up to hers in the mirror. "What?"

"My egg sandwich exploded in my lunch box."

"Oh."

"And her bag smelled like fart gas." Dominic sighs. "Was disgusting.

What's a dilf?" "A what?" I frown.

"A dilf."

My eyes widen in horror. "Where did you hear that word?"

"When I was standing at the gate, I heard Zoe's mom tell her friends that our dad is a real dilf."

"Zoe who?"

"Zoe Fox."

Felicity Fox...AHHHHHHH.

I grip the steering wheel so tight that it's a wonder it doesn't disintegrate in my bare hands.

"What is it?" he asks again.

"It's a..." I search for the right lie. "It's a zoo animal."

"A what?"

"Because he's big, she must think he looks like an ape." I fake a smile.

"It's a funny joke, isn't it? Ha-ha."

Dom curls his top lip, unimpressed. "He doesn't look like an ape at all."

That fucking wench, if she thinks for one minute that she is going to get her claws into him, she can think again. As if my life isn't hard enough at the moment, I don't need perky-boobed Barbie to complicate things further.

"Mom!" Lucia yells, interrupting my murder plans. "Are you listening to me at all?"

No, actually, I'm not, Lucia.

"Of course I am." I grit my teeth.

"My big toe ripped out of my sock today," she continues. "It was poking out and rubbing on my shoe all day."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. I need a drink, and I need it now.

"And now we have to clean my bag because it smells like egg," she raves on.

Fuck my life...

"I can hardly wait."

We arrive at home and I park the car, we amble inside and I go straight to the fridge and get a bottle of wine. I open it and as I look for a glass, I take a swig out of the bottle.

"What?" I snatch the card from him.

My dearest Dominic

I've bought you a phone so that you can call

me whenever you want to.

It's for calls only and doesn't have internet

and has been locked for Wi-Fi (you are too young just yet).

Please keep it in the kitchen where Mom can

see it at all times.

My phone number is programmed in, you just

have to press the name Dad and it will connect straight through to me.

All my love,

Dad, xx

Dominic swipes it open and a picture of him and Gabriel posing together lights up the screen. "Wooow." Dominic's eyes are nearly popping from their sockets. "This is sick."

"Oh my god," Lucia yells as she finally gets hers unwrapped. "Mine is pink."

Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. I go and fill my wineglass back up.

This is the day from hell.

It begins to ring in Dominic's hand, and their eyes widen. "What do I do?"

"Who is it?" I play along.