Helanie:
The desert went on forever, full of sand and heat. The sun was high above us, and the wind blew soft but dry, making my eyes sting. Every step was hard, our feet sank into the sand, and it felt like we were walking in a dream that never ended. Our camel walked beside us, calm and slow, like it didn’t feel tired at all. I looked back once. The place we came from was far behind now, almost gone in the hot air. It had been days that we left the mansion behind. My chest hurt, but I didn’t say anything. I knew we had to keep going. Ahead of us was a new place, a new life. I didn’t know what it would be like, but I kept walking, holding onto the hope that it would be better.
But every time I convinced myself I was happy, I was reminded of the faces of my mates.
"Are you okay? We can take a rest," my mother placed her hand on my shoulder to check on me after I sniffled a little too loud when cleaning my cheek with the back of my hand.
"I am fine," I lied. I wasn’t fine. I was missing them already. Every step I took away from them felt like walking on sharp knives.
My heart was in a constant battle of whether to beat or sink. My mind filled with the memories of us together. We had come a long way, me and my mates.
We started off as enemies and then turned into friends, becoming obsessed with each other. All that and so many memories created, only for me to walk away?
"No, you don’t look fine." After a while, my mother looked at me and slowed down. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she could see how tired I was and probably crying silently as well. She led the camel toward a small patch of shade where some rocks stood, half-covered by a dry, thorny bush. We weren’t going to find a motel here, no way. We sat down on the warm ground, the sun still strong above us, but at least the rocks gave us a little cover. Every little help was a lot here. I quickly grabbed my water bottle and drank from it. The camel knelt beside us and made a soft sound, then began chewing lazily on something it found in the sand, so my mother had to quickly give him food. I didn’t want the poor animal to suffer with us. But when we started this journey, we needed someone with us. Even when the ones I left far behind would always make me feel lonely, now I have a hole in my heart from their absence. I leaned back against a rock, breathing slowly, my legs aching. My mother placed her hand on mine.
"It is okay to miss them," my mother uttered, and my eyes started getting heavy with tears once again.
"I feel like I made a mistake," I uttered softly, staring at my hands that used to look so good being in my mate’s hands.
"You didn’t leave them behind for any other reason but to save our lives," my mother stated, and I swallowed my tears, licking my lips to moisten them, "and they must have accepted their other mates by now."
"They accepted me with my mates," I watched her turn her head down.
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