Dark Lord Seduction System: Taming Wives, Daughters, Aunts, and CEOs novel Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Too much and Too Little Principle

I don’t own cologne because I’m broke and apparently never thought I’d need to smell good for anyone. But I know my sisters have approximately forty-seven different body sprays because they treat fragrance like it’s a competitive sport.

Time for another stealth mission that would make Navy SEALs proud.

I cracked open their bedroom door and immediately regretted every life choice that had led me to this moment.

Sarah’s side of the room looked like a Victoria’s Secret had exploded and had a baby with an Instagram influencer’s wet dream, and Emma’s side was covered in enough makeup to supply a small theater company or a Kardashian photoshoot. There was also... other stuff. Stuff I didn’t want to think about.

Stuff that made me realize my sisters were way more grown up than I had given them credit for and probably had more game than I ever would.

I averted my eyes like I was looking directly at the fucking sun or accidentally clicking on a Logan Paul video, focusing on the mission: find something that would make me smell less like a basement‑dwelling goblin who bathed in energy drinks.

Their vanity was covered in sprays, perfumes, and things with names like "Vanilla Kiss," "Ocean Breeze," and "Midnight Seduction"—basically the fragrance equivalent of romance‑novel titles. I grabbed the Midnight Seduction because it sounded appropriate for my current life situation, though it was probably designed for teenage girls, not desperate virgin boys trying to lose their V‑card before they died of embarrassment.

I backed out of their room like I was retreating from a crime scene, which honestly felt accurate given the level of invasion I had just committed.

One spray became three became five, and suddenly I smelled like I had bathed in a Victoria’s Secret while having an emotional breakdown. This might have been overkill, but I was operating on the principle that too much was better than too little, which was basically my life philosophy at that point.

With thirty minutes to spare, I retreated to my computer for final preparations that would have made even the most desperate Reddit users feel sorry for me.

"How to seduce a hot girl when you’re a nerd" went into my search bar, and I immediately felt like I should be on some kind of FBI watchlist alongside people who think pineapple belongs on pizza.

The results were a mixture of pickup‑artist bullshit that would have made even Andrew Tate cringe, Reddit threads from other desperate virgins who probably thought touching a girl’s hand counted as second base, and articles that probably violated several international laws and definitely violated basic human decency.

One article titled "Confidence Tips for Introverted Men" seems less likely to get me arrested or require therapy, so I clicked through like I was conducting important research for my thesis on "How Not to Die a Virgin."

"Make eye contact," it suggests with the groundbreaking wisdom of someone who probably thinks water is wet. "Show genuine interest in what she says. Don’t try to be someone you’re not."

Revolutionary advice right there. Really pioneering new frontiers in the field of basic human interaction. Next, they’ll tell me to breathe regularly and not mention my extensive knowledge of anime fight scenes.

"Physical escalation should be gradual and consensual. Start with casual touches and gauge her response."

Right, because I totally know how to gradually escalate anything other than my anxiety levels and my ability to overthink every social interaction until it becomes a mathematical equation.

The winky‑kiss‑plus‑fire‑emoji combo made my cardiovascular system perform gymnastics that would impress Olympic athletes. That’s definitely not homework energy—that’s I’m about to ruin your life in the best possible way energy.

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