Ex-Husband's Regret (Ava and Rowan) novel Chapter 109

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought. Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am. Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t-shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

I don’t know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things would have been better for me. If life would have been great had I been raised by my real parents.

It would have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have had Noah. Every time I think of how things would be different had I not met Rowan, I turn back from those thoughts immediately. I would do everything all over again if it meant having my son in my life.

Gosh I miss him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was here with me. He has always been my anchor.

“I can’t even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even know where to begin in giving you comfort” Letty says, pulling me back from my thoughts.

I look at her and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or making them feel better. I don’t mind that though. Her realness was better than someone pretending to know how I feel.

“I know, Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I was finally starting to move on, you know? I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me and then before it can blossom into anything, it gets ripped away from me” I blink away the tears, not wanting to be weak anymore. Especially for a man that played and toyed with me.