Ex-Husband's Regret (Ava and Rowan) novel Chapter 126

Ava.

I’m cleaning the house. A thorough cleaning just to keep my mind off things. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’m pregnant.

When Rowan rejected the idea of us having another baby. I all but gave up on giving Noah a sibling. Now I have another baby on the way and I didn’t know how to feel.

My phone rings and I pick it up. Normally I would have refused to pick up, but not today. Pushing those close to me away wasn’t doing me any good..

“Hi Letty” I murmur while sitting down.

I’ve been so tired of late. I should have known that there was something more to it.

“Oh my God. You picked up. I thought you wouldn’t” she screams through the phone before sniffing. “I missed hearing your voice. It’s been weeks”

“I’m sorry.” I release a breath. “I just didn’t know how to handle everything so I pushed you away”

I’ve never been good at communicating my feelings. I've never been good at even acknowledging them. When I’m stressed or over emotional, I shut down. I try to bury them so that I can function properly. Pushing my emotions down is usually better than acknowledging them. Now I know that isn’t healthy at all.

“Are you okay now?”

“Not all the way, but I will be” I assure her.

I don’t know how I plan to do that, but I was going to come out of this stronger.

I still can’t believe that I thought of killing myself and my own child. I may not know how to feel, but this baby was my blood. Just like Noah is. I plan to be a good mother. I plan to be the best mother to him or her.

I shake those thoughts away. I don’t want to think of how low I had hit. I don’t want to think of what I almost did.

“I’m pregnant” I whisper, when she doesn’t say anything after a while.

“What?” She shrieks in surprise. “When did you find out?”

“About a week ago”

It felt nice talking to her. I didn’t realize how much I had missed her. Just how lonely I had been these past few weeks. I felt more like myself, now. I wasn’t quite there yet, but I was on my way.

I finish cleaning and I am exhausted by the time I am done. I collapse on the sofa, just as I hear my front door open.

I frown. Who the hell would dare enter my house without knocking or ringing the bell?

My question is answered when I hear his sweet voice.

“Mommy! Mommy I am home!” he screams.

A big smile takes over my face and I stand up. I rush out of the living room just as he breaks through the entry way.

“Noah!”

His body crashes with mine. I hug him close to me as tears fall down my face. His body just fits perfectly. I had missed him.