Ex-Husband's Regret (Ava and Rowan) novel Chapter 192

Chapter 0192

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was pounding as

If there was someone using it as a F***ing drum.

to realster thall

It takes a while am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He has a

room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my hands for

support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t remember much of last

night except drinking

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised myself not to

ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and that’s enough.

Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No F***ing cure. How do you even begin to deal with the

realization

hurting?

t you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine F***ing wears

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this out of

sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she could get

fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they weren’t as

I never thought of what she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still F***ing hurts. How the hell did she survive me for those nine F***ing years?

she wants nothi

to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want to give her that because she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter how I F***ing try. 1

i

“How did that happen? The last time I checked, you were sure you were in love with Emma.” Gabe asks me, looking puzzled.

“Yes, but weren’t you the one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for Ava?”

I remember how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told him countless times that I wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself. He saw something I didn’t want to recognize.

“My gut was telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe I was wrong.”

I sigh. “You were F***ing right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then it would have been easier to mend what I broke”

I stare off into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but instead of cherishing her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly by slowly until there was nothing left.