Ex-Husband's Regret (Ava and Rowan) novel Chapter 202

Chapter 0202

Rowan.

My feet hit the pavement as I run. I usually run in the morning, but today I decided otherwise. It was around seven in the evening, and I needed this run.

I speed up, feeling my muscles burn. I wanted to outrun my guilt. Wanted to outrun my heartache. I wanted to outrun my F***ing foolishness.

The guilt of how much I had hurt Ava was eating me alive. Destroying me from the inside out. I haven’t

been able to face her since I discovered my feelings for her.

I look at myself in the mirror, and all I see is a despicable human being. I am disgusted by my actions.

Disgusted by all that I did to her.

I thought I was a good man. The kind that loves fiercely. I was always proud of myself for holding on to my love for Emma. I thought it meant that my feelings for her were true. What I didn’t realize was that while doing that, I was hurting the woman I actually loved.

“Fuck!” I curse myself and the world.

How the hell did I get here?

I push myself harder as I run past the gas station a few miles from my house. I don’t have time to slow down because once I do, my demons will be back to haunt me. To taunt me with all my mistakes.

Every time I close my eyes, I see her face from many months ago, before she asked for a divorce. I don’t even remember what I said to her, but it hurt her pretty badly. I remember her eyes shutting down in pain as she told me she hated me. I scoffed. Not knowing that I would one day crave the love she used to have for me.

I messed up big time. Now everything is F***ed up and I don’t know how to fix it.

My phone rings, and I am pulled from my drowning thoughts.

“Hello, I answer without checking the caller’s ID. My breaths coming in hard and fast.

“Dad, it’s me! Noah shouts in excitement.

We’ve talked on the phone, but I haven’t been by to see him. Not when seeing him means seeing Ava.

Hey, buddy. How are you?”

The good. I’m super excited,” he all but shouts.

“I

“Where is it?” I ask him crisply.

“Oh, in the next town,” he replies. “Are you okay, dad?”

“Yes. Absolutely,” I lie.

“Okay then,” his voice is incredulous. “I’ll talk to you later. Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be around tomorrow, in case you wanted to see me. Bye dad, goodnight.”

“Goodnight too, buddy,” I said, hanging up the phone.

I continue my walk. I’d come out tonight in the hopes of calming my thoughts

top of all the stress, I was now pissed as hell.