HIS DOE, HIS DAMNATION (An Erotic Billionaire Romance) novel Chapter 145

Alaric’s POV:

(One Month Later)

One month.

Thirty days.

Over seven hundred hours.

That was how long it had been since I last spoke to Meadow, touched her, kissed her, held her… I was losing my fucking mind.

‘Thud.‘

I couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t live without her, couldn’t fucking function without her.

‘Thud.‘ My fist connected with my diamond–studded punching bag again and again and again until I

was satisfied.

However, I was never fucking satisfied. I didn’t feel the pain–only the pressure. I watched my knuckles carefully to see if they would break: I didn’t want to let myself get carried away.

I only caused enough damage to be able to treat with my first aid box. The diamonds had already turned reddish, stained with my blood. And yet, I wasn’t ready to stop.

I needed her.

‘Thud.‘

But I broke her.

‘Another thud.‘

I didn’t deserve her. I did something that was unforgiveable–so our relationship was doomed either way. If Meadow found out what I did, I wasn’t sure what she would do to me.

But one thing I was sure of was that she would leave me. But that had already happened. She had already left me.

And there was nothing that I could do except pine after her.

I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated.

This wasn’t even fucking working. No matter how hard and what I did to distract myself, I couldn’t get her off my mind. And the more I thought about Meadow, the more I wanted to yank her out of that apartment she got for herself and bring her back to the house.

But I couldn’t.

For my own sanity, Alaric.‘

Those were the words that she had said to me. And letting her stay would’ve been fucking selfish of me. I couldn’t tell Meadow I loved her when I was still keeping secrets from her.

Just one secret. But it carried the weight of a thousand more secrets.

“Fuck!” I growled, driving my fist into the punching bag one last time. I heard the unmistakable sound of the bones of my fingers cracking, and I froze.

Raised my fist to my face. Yeah, fucking messed up. Meadow would be so disappointed if she saw me like this.

But maybe… maybe it was for the best. Maybe I needed her to see me as someone who would never get better. I didn’t tell Meadow that I’d felt the desk and had started to feel things whenever I was around her letting my guard down. Because if I had told her, she wouldn’t have left.

I was fucking sure of it. She’d have taken that as some kind of sign and made it her mission to help me regain my sense of touch.

And I couldn’t have that, so I never told her.

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