HIS DOE HIS DAMNATION (by Vivienne) novel Chapter 160

CHAPTER 0160

Meadow’s POV:

That had to be what that was.

An excuse.

A dumb, far–stretched one, but an excuse nonetheless.

Because there was no way… no damn way Alaric was serious about this.

“Meadow,” he said, voice softening. “I’m not making excuses. I’m not scared of loving you either, I’m just… aware… and fucking terrified that you’d hate me.”

I stared at him, still waiting for him to tell me that he was just joking. But the expression on his face told me everything that I needed to know.

“Alaric…” I breathed, for lack of words. “What’re you…”

His jaw ticked, and he let out a bitter laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Just listen to me, Meadow, okay? Please. That’s all I need from you right now.” He shook his head solemnly. “Can you do that for me, baby?”

My heart felt heavy, but I nodded, reaching for the counter to steady myself.

And then, Alaric told me everything.

Everything. From beig a little boy and watching his father’s empire crumble, to shooting his father and hiding it perfectly for seven years at the cost of his sense of touch, to finding out that my father was behind his father’s empire coming to nothing, and then wanting his revenge and framing Clint Russell.

Not caring that he had a family.

–

Not caring that Clint had two little daughters even though Alaric had no idea at the time–how I was being treated in that household.

Not caring that what he’d done had set another chain of reactions–my mother killing herself, my sister hating me more and more and just… my life becoming more miserable.

And when he was done talking, he let out a sharp breath, leaning forward, elbows resting on top of the counter as his head fell between his shoulder blades.

My chest was tight, breathing shallow, brows pulled together as I tried to put it all together.

“Say something.” His voice was so calm, so soft, so…

Guilty. “Please, Meadow.”

I swallowed hard. Or tried to. The rock that had settled in my throat refused to move. “What do you…” My voice cracked. “What do you want me to say?”

Alaric didn’t look up. “Anything. Just-”

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CHAPTER 0160

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“This is what you’ve been holding back from me this entire time?” I cut in as my fingers dug into the edge of the

counter.

He looked up then, slowly dragging his gaze up to meet mine. “Meadow—”

“Is that it?” I bit out frustratedly as my nostrils flared. “Is that the entire truth? Is that everything you’ve been holding back from me?”

His jaw clenched and his gaze hardened. “Yes.”

I looked away from him, nodding. A chill ran down my spine and I wondered if it was from the cold marble floor beneath my bare feet or… something else.

My lips parted. “So what?” I whispered. “Do you love me now?”

I had no idea why that was the only question at the tip of my tongue, but once it was out, I couldn’t take it back.

Alaric was silent, so I turned to glance at him again, and his brows were furrowed in confusion.

“Meadow, I just told you that I framed your father and… that’s what you want to know?”

My nostrils flared as a hot feeling threatened to burst out of my chest. “Answer me, Alaric,” I gritted out, stepping around the counter to where he stood. “Well? Can you feel anything now?” My gaze shifted to the counter. “Can you feel the counter now you’re resting against it?”

He stood to his full height, running a hand through his hair. “Meadow-”

“Did you feel that? Did you feel your hair just now?”

I was nearly hysterical, but I couldn’t help it.

What else was I supposed to say? What else was I supposed to do?

Alaric didn’t respond, his jaw remained clenched, eyes filled with worry focused on me.

“Well?” I choked out as my vision blurred.

His eyes fell shut in defeat and he shook his head. “It doesn’t work like that, baby-”

“Then how does it work?!”

“I don’t fucking know!” he fired back. Alaric took a step toward me, and I didn’t want him to touch me, but I couldn’t move from where I was standing. Slowly, his hand reached out to cup my jaw. “I don’t know how this works, Meadow. I’ve been like this for so long that I don’t even remember what it’s like to feel things.” He heaved a sigh. “I felt Nolan’s touch the other day. And then I felt my mother’s. I felt…” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I felt the desk when you were bending over it that day and that’s why I… Fuck, baby, you have no idea how fucking sorry I am about everything.”

My eyes were wide, my vision still blurry as I struggled to keep my eyes on him. “That was why you went soft inside me?” I whispered, my lips trembling. “And not because… not because I told you I loved you?”

A full minute passed where he just stared at me, hand still on my chin, forcing me to keep my eyes on him. His

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CHAPTER 0160

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lips parted, chest rising and falling because of how hard he was breathing.

And then softly, he said: “No, baby. That isn’t the reason. I didn’t go soft because you told me you love me.” Something cracked in his voice and I felt it deep in my chest.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did, because I realized what you said to me,” he continued. “Because I realized that you meant it. That you…” he trailed off, his hand leaving my chin as he ran it down his face. “You meant every single word, and all I could think about was how much I’ve taken from you, how much I’ve broken, how much of your life I already destroyed before you ever had the chance to live it.”

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