HIS DOE HIS DAMNATION (by Vivienne) novel Chapter 9

CHAPTER 0009

Meadow’s POV:

My heart was beating so loud, I could barely hear myself think.

His thumb brushed lightly over my knuckles, grazing the rock that sat pretty on my ring finger. I squirmed under him again, hating the way my heart responded to his touch. Hating how badly I wanted to close the distance between us and say yes, like some desperate, touch–starved idiot.

Not that I was that far off.

“I…can’t,” I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper.

Be his wife?

Alaric made it sound like a simple choice. Like all I had to do was say yes and he’d give me the world. But

I didn’t want the world.

I just wanted to feel normal again. To not be someone whose entire life had just blown up in her face.

“Why do you even want me?” I pushed at his chest. “You say you want me to be yours, but what do you really stand to gain from this?”

His eyes didn’t flinch. “Nothing.”

My breath caught for the umpteenth time today.

That was all it kept doing. This man was making it difficult for me to breathe.

Alaric leaned down, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. “Just you, Meadow.”

Just. You. Meadow.

Just me.

I hated how those three words made something inside me unravel.

“Why?” I asked, desperate to ground myself. “Why me? Why not anyone else?”

Alaric’s jaw tensed. And for a moment, I thought he wouldn’t answer.

And then he muttered, “Like I said last night, you touched me.”

I blinked, scoffing when I caught myself. “Yeah, you said that. Along with some other bullshit that you never bothered to explain or found some way to take my mind off it.”

He pushed off the bed, running his ink–covered hand through his thick hair.

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CHAPTER 0009

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I wanted to do that. Run my hand through his hair. Badly.

His back was to me when he exhaled roughly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t feel people’s touch. I never have. I was diagnosed with a neurological condition years ago.” His voice was flat as he spoke, as if he was talking about the most casual thing known to man. “Think of it as an intense insensitivity to touch. Physical contact doesn’t register. Not pain. And most times, not pleasure.”

His tone had changed at the last word. And his back was still turned to me.

My chest tightened. “That’s… real?”

He nodded. “It’s rare, and complicated. But yes. I’ve lived my entire life in a body that doesn’t respond the way it should.”

My brain tried to make sense of that. Of the fact that he could touch people and never feel them. That no

matter how many women tried, none of them ever-

“And you can feel me?” I whispered.

“Yes.”

I didn’t know where the sudden boost of courage came from, but before I could talk myself out of it, I rose

to my knees, crawling toward the edge of the bed where he sat.

And then, kneeling behind him, I lifted my hand, hovering for only a few seconds before I placed it on his

lower back.

“You can feel this?” I asked, my voice shaking with anxiety.

“No,” his reply was soft. “I can’t. I can only feel you when you touch my bare skin.”

My heart broke for this man. I wondered all the things he must have gone through all because of his inability to feel.

But my heartbeat picked up again when he asked me a question. “Do you want to take it off?”

I hesitated.

I could’ve touched his hand if I wanted to confirm his condition, but something about taking his shirt off seemed much more appealing to me.

So I did.

I reached for the hem of his shirt, and as I pulled it over his head, Alaric’s entire body tensed from the light graze of my knuckles.

His breath hitched.

I froze, the black fabric of his shirt still clutched in my fingers.

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CHAPTER 0009

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“You felt that,” I whispered.

He didn’t turn around, but he didn’t need to.

Because I could see it–his skin shifting beneath my touch, his back muscles tense, shoulders tight like he was physically restraining himself from reacting.

I let the shirt fall from my hand and brushed my fingers lightly across the muscles of his back. Down his spine and back up. Across the dark ink sprawled over his left shoulder blade, leading down to his arm.

He shuddered.

I pulled my hand away, realizing that I may have gotten carried away. But I was stunned. Completely stunned.

“You really can feel me,” I said softly, in awe of the beautiful man sitting in front of me.

Alaric finally turned to face me, his eyes dark and unreadable. “I don’t know why.” His voice was rough. “I don’t care why.”

He rose to his feet, pulling me out of the bed and close to him so I was against his chest.

“All I care about is that I can,” he said, running his hand through my hair, causing me to lean into his touch. “That when you touch me, I feel it. And it doesn’t fade, Meadow. It stays.”

I was trembling, not out of fear. But because no one had ever said something like that to me. No one had ever looked at me the way he was now–like I was something powerful.

Something rare.

“I’m not special,” I said, voice shaking. “I’m just—”

“You’re mine,” he interrupted–quite smugly, might I add. “That makes you special enough.”

I blinked rapidly, trying to get my head on straight, but it was impossible with the way he was looking at me. Like I was the only thing in the room worth seeing.

“So that’s why you want to marry me?” I murmured. “Just so you can feel me?”

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