His Silent Luna (Verity and Felicity) novel Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE GUILT

Cassian’s Perspective

Air felt scarce, as if the very walls of that room were closing in on me. Not just any room—the palace itself seemed to suffocate me, heavy with memories and her lingering scent. It clung to my skin like some relentless phantom, a maddening presence that refused to fade.

By the time I stumbled out of the palace and reached the forest’s edge, my hands were clawing at the collar of my shirt, desperate to rip it away as if it were strangling me. The guards had long since ceased their calls after me; they knew better than to pursue when I looked like this—wild-eyed, frayed at the edges, consumed by something untamed and raw, something I couldn’t even name.

The instant my boots touched the earth beneath the trees, my body convulsed. Muscles tore, bones cracked with a sickening snap, and my wolf surged forth from beneath my skin—black as the void of night, swift and lethal. I didn’t pause. I ran as though hunted, as though fleeing the haunting image burned into my mind.

But no matter how far I fled, it chased me.

Her eyes—vivid violet, fierce and unyielding. That face, so unlike Felicity’s yet cruelly mirroring her in ways that made my chest ache. That mouth—the one I shouldn’t have noticed, the one that dared to call to me as if I were anything less than a king.

I should have looked away. I should have ignored it all. But gods, I didn’t.

And worse still—I wanted to.

When I finally came to a stop, deep within the woods, the moon had climbed to its zenith, bathing the forest in cold silver light. My breath came ragged, uneven, as I forced myself back into human form, staggering against a tree. My nails raked through my hair in frustration.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” I spat, slamming my fist against the rough bark.

Everything felt wrong.

The maddening itch beneath my skin, the urge to mark her—to sink my teeth into the delicate curve of her neck as if she belonged to me alone. Her scent wrapped around my senses like a siren’s song—sweet, soft, and utterly maddening. And those lips—

Gods, those lips.

One glance was enough to stir the wolf inside me—not with warning, but with want.

A low growl rumbled deep in my throat as I struck the tree again and again, the bark cracking beneath my fists.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

My knuckles split open, blood spilling down my wrist, but I didn’t stop. Not until the pain pierced through the chaos in my mind, until my vision blurred and my body could no longer bear it.

I collapsed to my knees, a strangled sound escaping me as I pressed my forehead to the cold earth.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed, the words fragile and broken as shattered glass.

Vanessa.

Her image haunted me still. Her scent lingered on my skin like a ghost I couldn’t shake.

I could see her clearly—the last night we shared, her skin pale and trembling in my grasp as the fever stole her away piece by piece. And me? I held her close, whispering promises I knew I couldn’t keep, while Death’s cold fingers wrapped tighter around her soul.

She had smiled.

Even then. Smiled.

And I had been powerless to save her.

Not with all my strength. Not with all my titles. I had failed the only person who ever loved me for more than what I could give.

And now?

Here I was, deep in the forest, half-feral, bloodied and gasping like a beast, all because of another woman. One who didn’t cry or beg. One who stood proud and unbroken, even in chains.

“I’m betraying you,” I choked out, my hands digging into the mossy ground. “Gods, I’m so fucking sorry.”

The guilt burned hotter than any flame. I wanted to tear it from my chest, rip the feeling out before it could burrow deeper.

Because this wasn’t just lust.

It was something else. Something raw, ancient, and terrifying.

Something that felt like a tether tightening around my ribs the longer I thought of her.

And that terrified me more than anything else.

I had promised Vanessa—I had sworn to the gods, to her, to myself—that I would never love another.

I pressed my forehead to the oak bark the day we burned her body beneath its branches. I swore no one would ever fill that sacred space she once held inside me. No one would ever reach me the way she did.

So why—

Why did I find myself wanting to go back?

And yet, here I stood. Wanting. Burning. Losing control in ways I hadn’t since the day I buried Vanessa.

“Who are you?” I whispered to the wind.

The question wasn’t meant for Vanessa.

It was for the girl.

The girl who set my body ablaze. The girl who haunted my thoughts since the moment I laid eyes on her. The girl who pushed me to the edge.

She was a puzzle I never asked for—but now couldn’t ignore.

By the time I returned to the palace, darkness had swallowed the sky, and the windows glowed warmly with candlelight.

I ignored everyone. I said nothing. I didn’t even pause.

I made my way to the highest tower—the one that overlooked the entire kingdom, a sprawling sea of cold stone and drifting smoke.

My reflection stared back at me from the glass—worn, hollow-eyed, still stained with fresh blood.

A king.

A monster.

A man torn apart.

I rested my hands on the window ledge and exhaled slowly, my breath shaky.

“She’ll break me,” I murmured. “Or I’ll break her first.”

Either way, this game had begun.

And I wasn’t going to stop until I had every piece.

Let the gods bear witness.

Let them try to stop me.