Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem novel Chapter 1414

The corners of Tarquin’s mouth twitched as he strode over, his long legs eating up the distance.

Just as Elysia was about to explode, he suddenly dropped to his knees with a dramatic thud!

Elysia’s eyes went wide. “?!”

She instinctively tried to jump up, but Tarquin held her in place.

Still kneeling in front of her, he started apologizing.

“This whole thing was my fault today. I shouldn’t have called Evan out of school behind your back—and told them he was sick, no less!”

“I realize now what a dumb move that was. I promise, I won’t do it again!”

“People say admitting mistakes is the first step to fixing them, right? So please, honey, give me a break just this once.”

Elysia was so thrown off by his kneeling, she just stared, blinking, completely speechless for a moment.

“You… get up first!”

“Not unless you forgive me, babe!”

Elysia was getting flustered. “Don’t you know a man’s knees aren’t for kneeling?!”

“I know, but I’m not kneeling to anyone else—just my own wife. No shame in that.”

Elysia’s eyelid twitched. “Get up!”

“Nope!”

“Tarquin!”

Suddenly, Elysia shouted, “Are you asking for a beating?!”

Tarquin immediately handed her a coat hanger.

“Use the hanger, honey. Don’t hurt your hand.”

“You—! You think I can’t bring myself to hit you, is that it?!”

“No, no, I deserve it. Go ahead, I’m ready.”

“You…”

Elysia’s cheeks were bright red, but she couldn’t deny he was being so sincere about apologizing!

She just couldn’t bring herself to hit him.

Unable to hit him, she started lecturing instead.

“I’ve never seen a dad like you! You actually take your son out of school and teach him to lie! What’s going through your head?!”

“You even told them he had a stomach ache! What, are you trying to make sure he knows exactly how to fake being sick next time he wants to skip class?!”

Tarquin said, “You’re right, honey, I’m sorry.”

No—he was ridiculously good at it!

Eventually, Elysia’s anger fizzled out.

She tossed the hanger aside.

“Fine, get up. I’ll let it go this time. But if you dare do it again, I really will smack you!”

Tarquin looked like he’d just been pardoned by the president.

“Thank you, my lovely wife, for your mercy! I’ll remember this for the rest of my life!”

Elysia shot back immediately.

“Who said you’re off the hook? I said I wouldn’t hit you, but you’re sleeping in the guest room tonight.”

Tarquin had just gotten to his feet when he dropped back down to his knees with another dramatic thud.

“Wait, what did you say?”

Elysia enunciated clearly, “I said, you’re sleeping in the guest room tonight!”

Tarquin panicked. “No way! Just hit me instead!”

He picked up the hanger and tried to hand it back.

Elysia refused. “I said I wouldn’t hit you, and I won’t. But maybe a night in the guest room will help you remember this lesson!”