Please get me out of this BL novel...I'm straight! novel Chapter 484

Chapter 484: ’Tell Him Now.’

Heinz told Afton... everything.

And it truly was everything.

From the fragments of his first life, to the stolen memories with Florian; from the slow, unwilling realization that he was in love with him, to the bitterness that curdled into cruelty—the very same cruelty that had driven him to hurt Florian in the past.

He spoke of the two Florians: the real one he had once known and lost, and the current one whose presence still tied knots in his chest.

He spoke of dying, of waking again, and of the endless chain of events that followed.

He confessed the truth he could barely admit to himself—that he wanted to love this current Florian, yet was shackled to the shadow of the original one.

He even spoke of the impossible—his meeting with the real Florian inside that strange, fragile space of the mind. 𝗳𝗿𝐞𝕖𝘄𝗲𝕓𝗻𝚘𝚟𝕖𝐥.𝚌𝕠𝕞

Afton remained silent throughout. No note-taking. No interruptions. His expression was maddeningly still, like a man chiseling every word into memory but revealing nothing of what it meant to him.

When Heinz finally stopped speaking, the air between them felt heavier, but... also looser.

’Strange... I feel lighter. Almost... relieved.’

Because now, someone else knew.

Someone other than Florian—someone who could see this mess without being the object of his love, his guilt, and his fear.

It was a quiet comfort, to unburden himself to someone who wasn’t at the heart of it all.

But even so, Heinz wasn’t ready to tell Florian everything.

Not yet.

And deep down, he suspected Florian might already know.

"Well? What can you say?" Heinz asked, arms crossing over his chest, his gaze sharp and unyielding. He was curious—dangerously curious—about what the psychologist would say after hearing everything.

’If he overreacts... I’ll kill him before he gets the chance to leave this room.’

Afton stared back for a long, unnerving moment, then cleared his throat.

"Uhm... well, first of all... I can understand why you threatened me, Your Majesty. That’s truly..." he hesitated, his lips twitching as if unsure whether to smile or tremble, "...magnificent."

Heinz’s brow arched. "Magnificent? That’s the last word I’d use for this situation."

"It is," Afton said, his voice steadying. "A regression? And not just that—one that reshaped your perception so completely it’s altered your actions, your decisions... maybe even your very nature? That’s extraordinary from a psychological standpoint."

He leaned forward slightly, eyes glinting with a spark of academic fascination. "And the prince—two souls in one body? One trapped in the mental space? That’s beyond rare."

Heinz narrowed his eyes.

"What do you mean," Heinz asked, tone cautious, "that the regression changed my perception?"

"Well, Your Majesty," Afton began, folding his hands, "let me explain. What I see is not just a man retrieving lost memories. I see someone whose very worldview is shifting. You’ve been forced to confront feelings—especially toward the original Prince Florian—that you once suppressed or twisted into something else. That kind of change leaves deep marks."

He gestured toward a chair and then took a seat himself, as if inviting Heinz to do the same. "I think I can help you understand the man you were, and the man you are now. And maybe why you can’t seem to stop yourself from orbiting the prince, no matter how much you hate yourself for it."

’Hate myself?’ Heinz felt a flicker of heat in his chest.

Did Heinz...hate himself?

"Though," Afton added, "this might take a while."

"I have all the time in the world," Heinz replied, his voice firm, but the truth was quieter inside him.

’If there’s even the smallest chance I can love my Florian without... destroying him—or myself—then I’ll listen. I’ll listen to anyone.’

Even if it meant putting his trust in this doctor.

Afton nodded slowly, his voice calm but weighted.

"Due to your trauma from the former king and the former queen, you already had an aversion to love. You were obviously... in love with the original Prince Florian—perhaps from the moment you met him—but you refused to allow yourself to love him back."

Heinz’s eyes narrowed faintly, but Afton pressed on.

"And as for the original Prince Florian... based on my understanding, and from what you’ve told me, he seemed desperate for that love. Desperate in a way that made you... both afraid of him, and yet drawn to him."

Heinz’s gaze sharpened at that. "Afraid and drawn to him? I was certainly... pushing him away, because he reminded me of my mother. But that drew me to him?"

Afton’s lips quirked in a faint, knowing smile.

"Well, Your Majesty, to me... you were just like him. You were as desperate for him as he was for you—you said it yourself. You kept finding your way back to him, despite repeatedly erasing your own memories of him."

He paused, his hands gesturing lightly as if painting the truth into the air.

"I believe, deep inside, you weren’t scared that he was like your mother. You were scared that you were like your mother. That you would love him so much... to the point of—"

’Wanting to die.’ Heinz’s breath caught, his fists tightening until his knuckles ached.

’He still loved me.’

’Why... does it hurt now? Why do I feel like I’m mourning someone I already killed?’

’I don’t deserve to love this one.’

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