Pregnant With The Douchebag Jock novel Chapter 5

Ellie

I hate walking to class.

I’m the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I can feel all eyes on me. The stares press against my skin like cold fingers. It makes it harder to breathe. Call it cliché, but sometimes it as if the entire room is holding its breath and waiting for me to screw up somehow.

No one actually laughs or says anything out loud. This is not like high school, but the silence? The silence is worse. It buzzes with judgment. Invisible but heavy.

I hate not having friends, new clothes, or being normal.

My acne isn’t helping the case either. Or the fact that I stammer when I try to speak sometimes. I feel so damn lonely, and I know that’s why I’m vulnerable. That’s why Laurent knew he could.

No.

Don’t think about it.

But my brain doesn’t listen.

I see his face sometimes. Flashbacks of that party. Him pushing me against the wall. The panic. The helplessness. I think I have PTSD. It creeps up at the worst times.

Like now.

Tears burn behind my eyes, but I won’t let them fall.

Eyes down. Keep walking. Don’t look at the people here.

I hug my laptop to my chest and slip into my usual seat in the back. The whispers have already started.

“Oh look, it’s the ugly duckling.”

“Does she ever change her clothes?”

“Aren’t her parents like… alcoholics?”

“They are.”

“I heard they threw her out.”

I left.

“She lives with those party girls. Ciara and Zendra.”

Because I can’t afford rent on my own.

“It must suck for them, living with such a weirdo. Ellie barely speaks. And when she does? She stammers.”

I’ve stammered ever since… that night with Laurent.

I sit down, swallowing the burn in my throat. Trying to stay invisible.

“Did you sleep well?”

I jump like I’ve been caught stealing.

Maddoc.

He plops into the seat next to me, looking way too casual for someone who just shattered my entire attempt at being invisible.

“I… I did,” I whisper.

Why is he sitting with me? This isn’t our project class.

“Good for you,” he mutters, cracking his neck. “I slept like shit.”

I blink. And then I notice it. The girls who were whispering about me? They’re staring now. Not whispering. Staring.

Wait.

Are they jealous of me sitting with Maddoc?

The corners of my mouth twitch. They shouldn’t. Like...this is pretty. But I kind of want to bask in it. After everything they said, it’s nice to have a moment.

“Ah, great,” Maddoc says, watching my expression. “You’re having your own conversation in your head again.”

I glance at him, and he sighs like he’s dealing with a difficult cat. “Anyway, you’re good with taking notes for me today, right?”

I blink. “Wait, what?”

He gives me what I think is supposed to be a charming smile, but it’s more like a hyena baring its teeth.

“That’s why you’re sitting here?” I ask.

“Yeah? What other reason would I have?” he shrugs. “I woke up at five to hit the gym. Arms are dead. No strength left to write.”

“Not my problem,” I mutter.

His eyes narrow. “Did you just give me attitude?”

My heart stutters, but I shrug again. “You’re mad at me for not helping when you’re the one using me.”

He recovers quickly. “Well, you’re a nerd, aren’t you? Bet you’ve got straight A’s in everything.”

“…I do,” I admit, cheeks burning. I don’t know why I’m embarrassed. It’s true. I focus on school because I have to. It’s the only thing in my control.

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