The Lost Pack (Paige) novel Chapter 145

Chapter 145

** Paige’s POV **

The house feels alive again this morning.

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Soft laughter drifts from the living room along with the low hum of conversation. Jaxon is curled up on the couch, a blanket tucked around him, his cheeks flushed from coughing, but his fever has gone. Ryder sits beside him, his hand absently stroking Jaxon’s hair as they watch cartoons.

Every now and then, Ryder checks his temperature, making sure the fever isn’t returning. He barely left Jaxon’s side for the first night; he watched over him the way I remember doing when he got his first virus as a baby.

It’s beautiful, the way he protects our son, steady, patient, instinctive, but it also hurts a little to know that couldn’t be there for all the times in the past six years. I linger in the doorway for a moment, watching them. Everything in me aches with love.

Behind me, sunlight spills through the kitchen windows in a warm pool. I move toward it quietly, needing to feel it on my face, needing a moment to breathe, to give Ryder the space he clearly still needs. I’ve learned that trying to pull him from protective mode only makes him hold tighter, and this is proving to be a great bonding moment for both of them.

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Parker’s there, leaning against the counter, nursing a cup of coffee that smells far too strong to be drinkable. He glances up when I enter, a slow smile tugging at his mouth.

“How did you sleep?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Not great. You?”

“Not with Ryder doing the world’s most intense bedside vigil. Every time I close my eyes, I can feel the worry coming off him.”

I smile faintly. “He just needed to know Jaxon was okay. Seeing your usually energetic child be so still can be scary.”

Parker’s gaze softens. “I know. He gave us all a scare.”

I nod, pressing my palms against the counter. “Yeah. It’s not nice, but then they bounce back just as fast, while you’re still tired from all the worrying, and they’re raring to go and full of energy.”

He watches me quietly for a moment. “You’ve been through this cycle a lot, huh?”

“Yeah, but it’s easier this time, with having you all here too. It makes me wonder how I ever did it all alone.”

“Did Greg not help at all?” He asks, and the question catches me off guard and causes a wave of anxiety to grip my chest.

I take a breath, reminding myself who I’m talking to and that he’s not trying to shame me. I love how easily

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I can talk about my past with my mates; they make me feel like they’re actually interested. If anyone even hinted at Ryder’s name, Greg would fly off the handle. There’s no way he’d ever want to talk about my past

unless it was to hurt me.

I shake my head. “No, not really.”

“Well now, you have four of us not just willing, but wanting to help,” he grins, but it fades as he studies me closer. “When’s the last time you actually rested, Paige? And I don’t mean slept or took a bath. I mean fully

rested.”

I shrug. “Before Jax was born, maybe?”

His smile returns, softer this time. “You don’t have to do everything alone, you know.”

I look up at him. “I’m not.”

He steps closer, resting his hands on the counter beside me, close enough that I can feel the heat of him.”

You still carry it, though. The weight. I see it. You might not be physically in there with Jax, but you are still

mentally there, aren’t you? You’re planning for every scenario, just waiting to take over if we get bored.”

His voice is low, steady. No judgment, just truth.

I exhale slowly, letting some of the tension drain from my shoulders. “It’s hard to stop. When it was just

me and Jax, I didn’t have a choice. Every worry, every fear, I had to hold it because no one else could.”

“You don’t have to now.”

I nod, my throat tight. “I know. But habits are hard to break, plus I don’t think a mum ever truly switches off from worrying about their kids.”

“I get that, but I hope with time you’ll be able to rely on us to take some of the mental load too.”

“I’d like that,” I smile.

I look out the window, still craving the feeling of the sun on my face.

“Do you want a coffee?” Parker asks.

I think about it for a moment before shaking my head. “Not yet, I need some sun first.”

“Then let’s get some sun.”

f

Parker’s hand brushes mine as we step onto the porch, and the simple contact sends a wave of calm through me.

“Come on,” he says gently, nodding toward the path that winds around the side of the house. “You need air,

not caffeine.”

I laugh, tugging my cardigan tighter around me as we head down the steps. “You’re saying I look that bad?”

He gives a small grin. “You look drained, not bad. There’s a difference. You’ve been holding your breath for days, Paige. You should let it out once in a while.”

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We walk in companionable silence for a while. The early sun filters through the trees, and the air feels clean. When we reach the small gardens that wrap around the rear of the main cabins, I stop near the low stone wall that marks the edge of the training grounds. From here, you can see almost everything, the younger enforcers running drills, a few of the older ones sparring under Callen’s supervision.

I imagine how different life would have been for Callen and Ryder if they’d been able to grow up here too. With wolves who looked out for one another, who didn’t hide what they were. Seeing it now, it hits me how much they missed out on. The energy of this place hums through the air.

Parker leans against the wall beside me, folding his arms loosely. “Every time I see you around the pack lately, you seem calm, not like a deer in headlights anymore,” he says quietly. “You’ve settled in more than

you realise.”

I glance at him and smirk. “You think so?”

He nods, eyes still on the field. “Yeah, but there’s something else, too. Since that night… when you healed

Ryder.”

The mention of it makes my stomach tighten. I look down at my hands, remembering the strange pull I’d felt that night, like the power had risen from somewhere deep inside me, responding to something I didn’t fully understand. “What about it?”

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