The Varkas Brothers And Their Princess novel Chapter 148

Chapter 148

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Kade kissed like he was punishing me. His tongue thrust into my mouth as soon as my lips parted when I gasped in surprise, and his tongue was just as cruel as his lips as it curled around mine and sucked so hard that I moaned into his mouth.

I grabbed his collar, but instead of pushing him off and putting an end to this, I dragged him close to me, deepening the kiss.

He grunted in approval, dragging me off my seat and pressing my body flushed against his as he leaned against my desk, palming my ass.

There was nothing soft in what we were doing, nothing gentle or affectionate. It was simply pure anger and hunger, pure need and guilt.

The kiss was our way of communicating because we were both too cowardly to use our words. We were both too… scared.

Words were like weapons, and they could ruin things, but when we were like this, our lips glued together, and our emotions going haywire, there were no words that could be used against us later. There was just nothing but feelings.

“Bella,” he muttered against my lips, his voice rough and an unfamiliar edge in the end. An edge that made my throat tighten. So maybe he wasn’t so much a coward. “You’ve been avoiding me? Why?”

“I’m sorry,” was all I said, grabbing his hair and pulling him closer to me even though he was as close as close could be.

“Sorry is not going to cut it, my darling,” he rasped, breaking the kiss and biting my neck without warning. “Not even close.”

But I didn’t stop, because I wasn’t as brave as he was. “I’m sorry, Kade.”

His hand tightened on my ass and I knew he was frustrated. “When did you realise my feelings for you?”

“That night,” I answered immediately, bending my neck back and giving him more access to lick and bite me all he wanted. “I saw it all in your eyes. You couldn’t hide it, and you didn’t even make an effort to.”

“I was open that day,” he said, licking my collarbone. “I was raw and bare, and I could no longer pretend I didn’t feel what I was feeling. I couldn’t pretend that there wasn’t a fire burning for you anymore. And you do this to me? You run? Do you think I want this? Do you think I want to feel any of this?”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice breaking off into a gasp when he bit down so hard that I saw stars.

“Don’t,” he growled, his voice hard and rough, and yet I could feel the tenderness in it. “Don’t apologize and try to get out of this. Are you still in love with him, Belladonna?”

I pushed my hips and I grind against his hard dick, my breath hitching. “I… I don’t know, Kade.”

Coward, Belladonna. That was what you were.

14:33 Mon, Oct 6

Chapter 148

I felt it the moment he snapped.

He grabbed my hair, pulling my hair back, his eyes red and wild with anger. “You don’t know? You don’t fucking know?!*

“Kade…”

“I’m the one touching you right now. I’m the reason you’re fucking aroused, and you don’t know?”

“Kade, he’s dead.”

“So? Does that make a difference? If he still has a strong hold on you, does that make a fucking difference?”

I stayed silent, biting my lips, but I regretted it when I saw the hurt flash in his eyes.

“You’re cruel, Bella,” he muttered, releasing his hold from my hair. “You made me this way. You made me this pathetic! I wanted to keep my damn distance, but you wouldn’t let me! You wouldn’t let me be. And now that I’ve fallen for you, you’re going to turn your back on me?”

I reached for his face, cupping it with my shaking hands, my chest damn tight. “That wasn’t my intention. I don’t want to do this too, Kade. I swear, but… but he hurts me in my sleep, he says I should suffer. D–don’t you think I should suffer? Don’t you think this is my punishment for being the one who lives?”

His shoulders dropped, his anger slowly fading until his eyes grew soft, but I still felt the wall between us. His ice walls were back up.

Look what you’ve done, Belladonna.

“And what about me that’s still here?” he asked in a barely audible voice. “What about me who’s feeling these things that I don’t want to? What will you do about it? Huh? Because this is all your fault, Belladonna. If only you had left me alone and hadn’t tried to get into my space. If only you didn’t make a fool out of me with your scent, then none of this would have fucking happened.”

With my hands still on his face, I caressed his cheeks, my thumb stroking his cheekbones, feeling his smooth skin.

Why? Why was I this way? Was I cursed? Was I cursed to never feel happiness and only cause pain to those I cared about? What was my damn offense?

“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I swear, Kade, I didn’t mean to. I… I didn’t… I’m so sorry. Maybe I’m cursed after all.”

He looked at me with his eyes filled with pain, his gaze helpless.

“And what about me, Belladonna?” he asked in a broken whisper. “Someone died because of me. Do you think I don’t feel guilty, too? Do you think I don’t feel like I should be punished for it? But…” His gaze dropped, his voice dropping as well. “But my brother told me to take a leap at happiness and see where I land. He said living this life alone would be miserable. I just… I just want…”

His words trailed off, and he still kept his gaze fixed down.

14:33 Mon, Oct 6

Chapter 148

My chest was hurting. Or perhaps it was my heart. I didn’t think it was possible to see Kade this way.

“You think you can find happiness with me?” I asked softly, still holding his face.

He raised his eyes to mine, stripping himself bare so I could see everything. “And you think I can’t? You think we can’t find happiness with each other? Why? Is it because we’re monsters?”

I said nothing, because really, what was I going to say? Yes? That would hurt him. No? And that would be a lie.

So because I was a coward, and because I couldn’t face my emotions, I said, “Fuck me, Kade.”

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