Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 157

Chapter 157: Festival of Flames

[Lavinia’s POV – Festival of Flames]

Gods above, someone please tell Osric to relax before he glares a hole through the next fruit seller.

Seriously.

He didn’t look like a protector right now.

He looked like a demon—an overgrown, brooding, six-foot menace dressed in a plain robe—staring daggers at every single soul who so much as breathed near me.

You’d think I was made of stardust and national secrets the way he hovered.

And I do mean hovered.

He was so close to me that we could probably be mistaken for lovers strolling through the city on a forbidden date. Not that kind of tender, poetry-reading lover either—no, the jealous boyfriend who once stabbed a guy for looking too long kind.

And to make things worse? Solena, glowing on his shoulder like a literal divine feathered beast, made us about as subtle as a comet crashing through a dinner party.

"Stay close, Lavi," Osric muttered suddenly, one hand moving to the small of my back as if I were about to be launched into space. "Someone might try to kidnap you."

I blinked.

Excuse me?

I turned to him with my most unimpressed royal eyebrow. "Did you just imply I’m a kid?"

He shrugged, dead serious. "You’re fun-sized. Thieves love portable short people."

. . .

. . .

. . .

I feel very...very offended.

Oh, we’re doing that today.

"Right," I said sweetly. "Sure thing, uncle."

He stopped walking. Like, mid-step. Boot frozen midair. Face blank.

"... What did you just call me?"

I kept strolling, head held high like I hadn’t just committed conversational war. "Un-cle," I repeated, over-enunciated like I was teaching a toddler phonics. "You know. Grumpy older man who thinks he knows best but still gets grey hairs from dealing with his adorable niece."

He jogged to catch up, scandalized. "Lavinia. Did you just—you did not—did you seriously just—UNCLE?!"

"Should I have gone with Grandpa?" I mused aloud.

He actually made a wounded noise. "I am twenty-one!"

"And acting sixty."

"I train with swords for six hours a day—"

"Which is exactly what my grandpa does before he baths in eucalyptus oil and yells at clouds."

Osric groaned like someone whose entire bloodline had just been dishonored.

Hehe...he’s so fun to tease.

"Lavi... you cannot—"

"OH! Something’s happening over there!" I squealed, completely ignoring his royal meltdown as I darted to the opposite side of the street.

"Lavinia—no, Lavi—LAVI, don’t you—"

Too late.

I was already peeking through a noisy crowd that had gathered near a makeshift table where a man with the energy of a caffeinated raccoon was shouting to the skies.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMENNNNN!" he bellowed, arms flailing as though casting a spell of pure nonsense. "Step right up and test your fate! Win more than you spend! Triple your coins or triple your tears!"

On the table, three shiny steel cups glinted in the light, dancing around a single hidden marble.

Oh. This game.

So apparently, even in this empire of warbirds, velvet secret lairs, and magical assassins... we still have scam artists with cup games.

The man waggled his eyebrows at the growing crowd. "In honor of our lovely princess’s First Crawl Day, I’m offering FOUR tries instead of three! That’s right—four shiny chances to win the jackpot and take home glory, gold, and the admiration of strangers!"

Hmm. Should I try?

I mean, statistically, I’ll lose... but it is my day. And maybe—

Oh.

Wait.

I handed all my coin pouches to that silk-sucking, charm-hoarding information goblin Rye Morven.

Great.

Maybe Osric still has—?

I turned, about to ask, when suddenly—strong arms looped around my waist. My back hit a chest. A very firm chest.

And then—

"WHA—WHAT?!" I gasped, utterly scandalized.

He had pulled me close. So close I could feel the stupidly calm rhythm of his stupidly solid heartbeat. His hands were warm. His grip was gentle but confident. Dangerous. Illegal. Borderline marriage proposal levels of intimacy.

I tilted my head up to yell at him and instead—Forgot how to breathe. Because Osric was staring down at me with an expression that should be banned in royal festivals.

And then he whispered. Low. Rough. Too close to my ear.

"...Now look closely, Lavi," he murmured, a sly smirk tugging at his lips. "Do I... look like an uncle to you?"

Oh no.

OH NO.

There was a shimmer.

Just a flicker—magic warping ever so slightly—and suddenly, behind the commoner glamor, I saw it.

The real Osric.

And Saints save me.

He looked like a curse designed by a drunk god with no moral compass and unlimited access to jawlines.

Golden skin kissed by sunlight and swordplay. Eyes the color of iced coffee—dangerous, rare, expensive. A face carved from trouble and royalty, framed by tousled hair that belonged in romance novels banned from schools.

I. Was. Doomed.

"Tell me, Lavi," he said, leaning in, his nose nearly brushing mine, "do I... still look like an uncle?"

My heart detonated in my chest.

It was a crime.

An absolute crime how attractive this man was.

I pushed myself out of his arms like I’d touched a furnace and staggered backward, pointing a trembling finger at him like a righteous cleric calling out a demon.

"You—you—are you trying to seduce me?!"

He tilted his head. Smirk deepening. "Did I?"

My jaw dropped.

I clutched my chest dramatically. "That’s treason, Osric. Treason against the royal bloodline."

"You look like you’re enjoying the treason."

"DAMN IT—I feel so hot right now," I gasped, fanning myself with both hands.

From my satchel, Marshi peeked up with a face that screamed, I did not sign up for this romantic fever dream.

Solena let out a long-suffering warbird sigh from Osric’s shoulder, as if to say, My master is an idiot and a menace. But he’s a handsome menace, so I can’t even argue.

Meanwhile, Osric—the cause of 98% of my current cardiac instability—walked up beside me like he hadn’t just dismantled my entire emotional equilibrium in twelve seconds flat.

Gods, help me.

I was in trouble.

"Exactly!" I beamed. "A princess of the people. And the people are playing the shiny cup scam, so I will also play the shiny cup scam."

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