Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Why the Heck is Everything So Weird Today?!

A whole year.

I survived a whole freaking year in this royal palace. Not just survived—thrived.

I, Lavinia Devereux, the supposed neglected villainess-to-be, flipped the script so hard I probably gave fate whiplash.

I was supposed to be ignored, tossed aside, and forgotten by everyone. Especially by Papa. But guess what? Plot twist, universe!

The whole empire knows me now. And more importantly—

I GOT ALL THE PAPA LOVE I DESERVED.

Sure, his face is always set to Tyrant Mode™, but actions speak louder than words, right?

And boy, did Papa’s actions scream adoration.

Exhibit A: He executed those maids for neglecting me. Ruthless? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.

Exhibit B: He assigned me a personal nanny. Handpicked by Papa himself. No less than the best for his precious little heir.

Exhibit C: A whole parade of guards? Just for me? Oh yes. I now have my own imperial security squad, ready to wage war at the slightest whimper.

Exhibit D: He declared a national holiday when I flipped over for the first time, which was essentially handled by Theon. Despite my first-word blunder, he still declared a national holiday. Yup. People celebrated my blabbering-toungue-twirling skills.

Exhibit E: And the grandest display of all? Papa paraded me around like I was Simba at that royal event, practically roaring, "Behold! My heir!"

Okay, that might’ve been a bit much, but hey—no one questioned who’s the princess around here.

So...

So...

WHY THE HECK IS EVERYTHING WEIRD TODAY?!

I gnawed furiously on my golden pacifier, eyes darting around the room like a tiny detective on high alert. The hall was decorated, sure. I am too beautiful, completely sure. Golden banners, fancy flowers, enough glittering candles to blind half the nobility.

But.

Where was the fanfare?

Where were the hundreds of nobles lining up to kiss my chubby little hand and pretend they adored me?

Where was the choir? The parade?

Why was this—this—so... quiet? It’s my freaking first birthday in this universe!

Where were the hordes of nobles groveling to gain favor with the imperial princess? The extravagant performances? The mountains of gifts?

And where—where—was the choir singing my praises in the background?!

Just a handful of high-ranking nobles. A few imperial council members. And some ladies, who were currently pretending not to eye the dessert table like starving hawks.

Marella.

I saw you glance at that chocolate mousse. Don’t lie to me.

My chubby legs swung back and forth from Papa’s lap, my usual throne, as I took in the suspiciously low-key scene. His arm was steady and warm around me, a constant source of comfort. But today...

Today, his grip felt... tighter.

Protective.

Almost like he was holding on just a little too tightly.

Hmm.

Suspicious. Very suspicious.

I narrowed my eyes, the seasoned drama queen in me coming out full force.

I need answers.

I tilted my head up, giving Papa my best squint.

Interrogation mode: ON.

Papa’s expression was calm. Too calm. But something was... off. His crimson eyes—usually burning with that terrifying tyrant-y glow of "My Daughter is the Best in the World, Bow Before Her"—were... softer. Distant. Like he was thinking too much.

Thinking about what exactly?

Hmm.

I sucked on my pacifier harder, feeling my tiny baby brain shift into overdrive. The gears were grinding. The pieces were falling into place. And then.

Enter Grandpa Gregor and Grand Duke Regis with Osric, course.

"Happy birthday, Your Majesty," Grandpa Gregor said smoothly, his sharp eyes twinkling with something that made my internal alarms go DANGER. DANGER. ABORT MISSION.

I froze.

Did Grandpa Gregor do something?

My baby instincts screamed at me.

Hmmm... very suspicious.

And then—

Grandpa’s lips curled into that smile. That smile. The one that made me want to hide under the nearest imperial carpet.

Plot incoming.

"I promised to give my little princess a birthday gift, didn’t I?" Grandpa Gregor’s voice was smooth as silk, but I wasn’t fooled.

Oh.

Ohhhhhh.

YES. YES. GIVE ME.

My ruby.

My precious ruby.

I wiggled. Once. Twice. Harder.

Gimme, gimme, gimme!

"Ah. I see my princess hasn’t forgotten," Grandpa Gregor chuckled, his eyes twinkling even more dangerously.

I knew it. I was born for this moment.

Give me back my ruby, old man! I earned that thing with blood, sweat, and adorable baby manipulation!

I wiggled harder, flailing my tiny arms for maximum effect.

"Ba! Ba!"

Translation: Where’s my loot, Grandpa?!

"Patience, little one," Grandpa murmured, reaching into his robes.

Yes. YES.

My ruby. I could already see it—gleaming red, my richies. But then—

He didn’t pull out my ruby.

Nope.

He pulled out... a scroll.

A scroll?!

Wait.

WHAT?!

I blinked. Once. Twice.

Where’s my shiny?!

"Here it is," Grandpa said with a smile that was way too satisfied.

My baby instincts screamed TRAP. I squinted at the scroll like it was some ancient curse about to turn me into a frog.

I don’t Like this. Nope. Not one bit. I asked for my ruby. My glorious, sparkling, future-world-dominating ruby. So why—why—was this old man holding out a dusty piece of paper like he was presenting me with the crown jewels?!

Hmm.

Translation: What the heck is this, Grandpa?

Pause.

Even more valuable than my ruby?

Impossible.

Did I mishear that?

Translation: Explain. Quickly.

Grandpa’s eyes twinkled, and his smile grew even more infuriating. "It’s a diamond and a ruby mine I give you as a gift."

WOWOWWWOW........

Diamonds?

Rubies?!

I LOVE YOU, GRANDPA.

You’re the best!

Forget villainess. I’m about to become a mogul. I AM RICHHHHHHHHHH!

Huh?

Here we go again.

Pfft. Innocence, my ass.

But Grandpa Gregor cut him off smoothly, raising an eyebrow. "I am still her grandpa, even though we do not share the same blood."

Ohhhhh.

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify