Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Swords, Sighs, and Secrets

As I was thinking about whether to interfere with the novel plot or not—whether to save Osric’s childhood from becoming a nightmare—the doors of the dining area swung open with a loud creak. The clanking of boots made my head snap toward the entrance.

Grandpa Gregor walked in, his big, familiar presence making my heart feel all warm and fuzzy. "Gwampa!" I squealed, jumping from my chair and launching myself straight at his legs like a tiny cannonball.

"Princess...be careful," Nanny panicked.

Grandpa chuckled, scooping me up with ease. He was my fortress while Papa was away, my protector against all things boring. And obviously, he let me do whatever I wanted.

Best. Grandpa. Ever.

Osric followed behind, his usual soft smile on his face. Grandpa Gregor ruffled my hair, making it even messier than it already was.

"How is my little princess?" Grandpa Gregor asked.

"Gwampa! You cawwnot ruwin my hair!" I declared, swatting at his big hand as he ruffled my carefully styled locks.

Grandpa hummed in mock seriousness. "Oh? But it looks a little messy already... perhaps I should fix it for you?"

I gasped. "Nooo! It’s pewfect!" I covered my head with both hands, as if protecting a priceless treasure.

Then, my sharp eyes caught Theon standing beside Grandpa. He was smiling, but...he looked nervous. Hmmm. Suspicious.

I squinted at him. "Thewn...arwe you okawy?"

Theon’s smile stretched wider, but I wasn’t fooled. "I am absolutely fine, Princess."

Liar.

His eyes did that little twitch thing that meant something was up. Then, he and Grandpa exchanged a glance. Yep. Definitely fishy.

"I am upset a little because It’s been so long...since I played with my princess," Theon said, all dramatic.

I narrowed my eyes. "Rewlly?"

He nodded. "Yes, Princess. So...why don’t we play...in your NURSERY?"

I stiffened.

The nursery. The place where Papa’s pictures were EVERYWHERE. The room I had been very skillfully avoiding. And now, these two traitors were trying to trap me in there?

Ha! Nice try.

But they underestimated me.

They thought they were dealing with a helpless two-year-old. Fools.

I was Lavinia Devereux. And I knew exactly what to do.

PRETEND I NEVER HEARD IT.

I turned my face away like a queen dismissing nonsense and wiggled in Grandpa’s arms. "Put me down, Gwampa."

Grandpa Gregor, being the ultimate enabler, didn’t question me. He just set me down gently.

Good Grandpa.

Now, time for Phase Two of the Escape Plan.

I spun around dramatically—because subtlety was not my thing—and bolted straight to Osric.

"Oswric, wet’s go pway!"

Osric blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Oh, but Lavi... I have to go for sword practice."

Ugh. Sword practice. Why does an eight-year-old need to play with swords anyway? Shouldn’t he be playing with wooden blocks or something safe?

But wait! This was an opportunity!

"Then... can I cowme watch?" I asked sweetly, batting my big red eyes.

Osric’s entire face turned pink. "Y-You... really want to come?"

What’s with the blushing? Was watching sword practice really that special?

I nodded, bouncing on my toes. "Yes! Lewt’s go!"

I threw in an extra jump for effect—just in case they didn’t catch how excited I was. This was my escape route, and I was going all in.

Theon and Grandpa Gregor exchanged a look, their silent communication obvious. But before they could hatch another plan, I grabbed Nanny’s hand and declared, "I wanna see Oswric swowd fight! Nanny...lewt’s go."

Nanny hesitated for a moment. Theon sighed, looking at me like he was going to give up on any hope of getting me into the nursery.

Victory.

With Osric leading the way, I walked proudly, knowing I’d just avoided the nursery trap like a pro.

Saving Osric’s childhood? Hah. I’d deal with that later. For now, I’d successfully escaped.

Lavinia: 1, Theon & Grandpa: 0.

***

And now I was in a field. But not just any field, oh no. This was the sword-fighting field, where Osric was desperately trying to figure out how to stab things with a pointy stick. 𝑓𝘳𝑒𝑒𝓌𝘦𝘣𝘯ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝑚

Grandpa Gregor stood there like a general on the battlefield, teaching him "parry", "slash", and other boring, grown-up words that made no sense to me.

Meanwhile, I was sitting on a bench, swinging my little legs and munching on macarons, bored out of my mind. I mean, how could anyone enjoy all this... sword-y stuff?

Nom nom nom.

I was getting crumbs all over the place, but whatever. I’m two years old. I’m too cute to be scolded for it.

Far off in the distance, I could see Theon, Nanny, and Marella huddled together in some sort of secret meeting. They looked worried. No, they looked nervous. Like they were waiting for a giant explosion or something. They kept looking at me like I was some sort of walking time bomb. But, honestly, what could I do about it? I’m just two years old. I can’t exactly solve everyone’s problems. Right?

I took another bite of my macaron, completely unbothered.

Then, after what felt like hours of sword-swinging, Grandpa Gregor gave Osric a break. Osric came running over to me, his face flushed from exertion, practically bursting with excitement.

"Lavi... did you watch me practice?"

I blinked. Practice? I’d been staring into space, my macarons slowly disappearing into my mouth, but sure, let’s make this sound I was watching.

I put on my best ’I’m totally impressed’ face and clapped my little hands, making sure to exaggerate my movements. "You were awesooome, Oswric!"

I waved my macaron like it was some sort of royal scepter, aiming for maximum drama. "Oh... yes! Yow were gwreat! Sword-y and stwuff, suits you!"

Osric’s cheeks turned pinker than I thought possible. He stood up straighter, all puffed up like a peacock. "If you like it, then... I’ll learn more and become the best sword fighter and protect you!"

I blinked. The best sword fighter? I tried not to roll my eyes because, well, he was just being so earnest. I had to at least play along.

But in my head, it was another story. Osric would be a better sword fighter, sure, but the best? Oh, sweet little Osric, that’s not in your future. The best sword fighter in the empire? That role was reserved for someone else entirely. Someone much darker. Someone who would poison me in the end.

My Future Personal Knight and the second male lead of this novel.

Sigh.

And then—suddenly—a knight came running toward Theon, looking all serious and important. Theon then sighed deeply, as if the weight of the entire world was pressing down on his shoulders.

Nanny and Marella gasped, like they’d just heard that the sun was going to stop shining. The very air seemed to tremble with their collective sighs and gasps.

It was like they were in the middle of a sighing and gasping competition, trying to see who could do it the loudest.

Sigh, sigh, sigh.

I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. What was with all this sighing and gasping? Was there a prize for it? Maybe I should start practicing my own gasps. If I perfected it, maybe I’d win a prize too.

Hmm...

But no. For now, I decided to focus on what really mattered: the mysterious tension hanging in the air like a storm cloud.

Wait. What?

But Marella—oh, Marella—did the thing she always does: panic. "But... but my lord..." she stammered, wringing her hands like someone had taken her favorite ribbon.

No one can say anything to me?

The constant sighing was starting to make me feel like I was supposed to be doing something big and important... and honestly, I wasn’t in the mood for any grand adventures today. I just wanted to eat more macarons.

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