Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 31

Chapter 31: A Warrior Princess’s Great Escape (and Downfall)

I was already regretting my evil plan to tease Papa. Yes, it had backfired on me spectacularly. And like a defeated warrior on the battlefield, I accepted my fate with a heavy heart.

The journey to the bedroom was eerily silent.

Normally, at this time every day, I’d be running around the palace like a criminal, demanding snacks from Nanny, or playing in the mud in the garden.

But today? Today, I was a captive. My crime? Mischief. My punishment? Bedtime.

Papa strode into his chambers with all the authority of a man who owned the entire kingdom (which, technically, he did). His heavy boots made that ominous thud against the polished floor—the sound of doom. Then, without a word, he placed me on the massive imperial bed.

"Stay here," he ordered firmly, his piercing gaze holding no room for negotiation.

I nodded. Like a good little daughter. Like the perfect, obedient offspring of Cassius Devereux. (For now.)

Then, to my utter confusion, he pulled something from his belt and handed it to me.

"Play with this."

I blinked. Stared. Blinked again.

It was a tiny wooden sword.

I glanced up at him, waiting for the punchline. Surely, he was joking. Any second now, he’d pull out a cute stuffed bunny, a doll, or literally anything remotely suitable for a delicate two-year-old girl.

Nope. Papa just crossed his arms and looked at me like I was the weird one.

"What?" he said, then continued, "You are not allowed to go out."

Ugh...

"But—"

"No, but."

Oh, c’mon. I just wanted to ask why he gave me a sword. Was he preparing me to conquer neighboring kingdoms already? Should I start drafting my royal battle strategies? Maybe send a carrier pigeon to announce my impending reign of terror?

I mean... at least give me a doll or—

Then I sighed dramatically. Who was I kidding? This was fine. This was expected. I should’ve known that in this household, "cute toys" meant "weapons of war."

Fine. If this was my destiny, then so be it. I would embrace it.

With a theatrical sigh of acceptance, I flopped onto my belly and swung my tiny sword around aimlessly, preparing for battle. (My enemy: boredom.)

I am now, Slashing at imaginary enemies, fending off invisible dragons, and taking down entire armies—all from the comfort of Papa’s luxurious bed.

I was a warrior princess now.

Papa smirked and Just then, a maid entered, and Papa said, "Prepare the bath." He then walked into the bathroom, leaving me alone with my new noble weapon.

And as time passed...

I started enjoying it.

Slowly, as I swung the sword and slashed at imaginary dragons, I started to have fun. Then, I stood on the bed, raising my tiny sword toward the ceiling.

"I am the mighty Princess Lavinia!" I declared. "No evil shall prevail in my kingdom!"

I slashed the air, cutting it in half, and jumped on the mattress, bouncing slightly, waving my sword. "Bow before me, for I am the greatest—"

A deep voice interrupted my grand speech.

"What are you doing?"

I froze mid-swing and turned my head ever so slowly.

Papa stood there, fresh from his bath, a towel draped over his shoulders as he wiped his wet hair. His piercing gaze locked onto me like he was the most dangerous person in the room. (Which was ridiculous because obviously, that title belonged to him.)

But I was a warrior princess! I couldn’t let mere intimidation break me!

So, gathering all my courage, I pointed my tiny sword directly at him. "Bow to the princess!" I declared in my most regal voice.

The room fell silent.

Papa arched an eyebrow. His eyes, sharp as a hawk’s, stared me down with the weight of a thousand unspoken words. His gaze was intimidating, urging me to back off.

But I was the princess, the daughter of the tyrant-y emperor.

Then, he smirked, continuing to dry his hair lazily. "Did you forget?" he said, his voice smooth and deep. "I am the Emperor."

He leaned in slightly, his crimson eyes gleaming with amusement. "And princesses bow to the Emperor."

Oh, no.

I gulped. Fine, this was a battle I could not win.

And so, like a true warrior who knew when to retreat, I slowly lowered my sword... and flopped face-first onto the bed.

Papa smirked, then lay beside me and tucked me inside the blanket. With his big hand, he rubbed my cheek gently and asked, "Now, do you know who I am?"

UGH. Why was he asking again?

But then I looked at him. His eyes were still cold, but I felt something else behind them. He looked... hurt. Was it because I had pretended not to recognize him earlier?

Fine...I mean, I cannot tease my papa for long, right?

So...

"...Papa," I mumbled softly.

His eyes widened slightly before he smiled gently and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead. "That’s right. I am your Papa, and you shouldn’t forget that."

***

I thought that would be the end of it. That he’d let me go, let me be free to run around the palace, chase butterflies, eat snacks, and live my best two-year-old life.

But no. I was wrong. Papa always proves me wrong.

Because I am here, sitting on the royal couch in Papa’s grand office, abandoned like an unwanted kitten.

I pouted, kicking my legs in frustration while eating the cakes placed before me.

Across the room, Papa sat at his massive desk, buried under an avalanche of documents. The pile was so high that only his head and broad shoulders were visible. His brows were furrowed, and his expression screamed one thing—annoyance.

I was annoyed too. Why did I have to sit here while he worked?

I sighed dramatically and stuffed another piece of cake into my mouth, watching as Theon read through some documents.

"Your Majesty," Theon started, his tone calm yet serious. "While you were away in the western provinces, many noble families took the liberty of embezzling funds from the treasury."

Looks like some nobles started behaving like they owned the country while Papa was away.

"Just kill them."

...Well, he did take me to an execution ground when I was three months old, so maybe not.

This... this was my great chance to escape.

Alright... LET’S GO AND PLAY!

I turned the handle as quietly as possible, my heart pounding with excitement. Freedom was just one step away and... YES! I successfully stepped out of the office.

Oh no.

If they saw me, they would surely drag me back inside and imprison me on that wretched couch again! My glorious escape would be cut short!

"WHERE AM I?"

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