Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 91

Chapter 91: Operation: Stop the Fluffy Romance

[Lavinia’s Pov]

It’s been exactly eight days, thirteen hours, and... possibly four minutes since I arrived back from Nivale, and let me tell you something—

The palace has been nothing short of a dramatic theatre production... ON FIRE.

The whole week?

CHAOS.

Pure, unfiltered, head-scratching, maid-squealing, noble-sighing chaos.

Why?

Because.

The elf-trafficking scumbags got caught.

Apparently, while I was busy trying to convince Nanny to give me three extra honey tarts (she didn’t), Grand Duke Regis, Ravick, and my forever-serious (and forever handsome—he says so himself) Brother Soren rescued the kids.

And later...Papa personally interrogated them.

And by "interrogated," I don’t mean, "Tell me your name, villain!" with stern eyes and a little slap on the table.

No, no, no.

I mean—

BOOM. CRACK. THUD. SPLASH.

Leg-breaking. Arm-twisting. Possibly intestine-churning.I even overheard a knight say very dramatically, "The blood was falling from their hands like a red waterfall."

Like a WATERFALL.

Please, someone write a sad poem about it—I’m five, and even I can tell that’s poetic material.

Papa declared it an act of high treason. And then? He didn’t just erase their family from nobility. No, no. He erased them from the entire map.

Like—poof. Gone. History. Who even were they?

And now the palace has turned into Whisper Central™.

I hear the maids everywhere going, "Did you hear? His Majesty erased them from the archives!"

"Even the family crest is gone."

And while everyone’s nervously whispering, you know who’s really suffering the most?

No, not the criminals. Not the elven kids (they’re safe and munching pastries now).

Theon.

Papa’s assistant.

And now... part-time sobbing statue.

Because guess what?

The entire workload of the now-extinct Verellon family landed on his desk like a falling castle tower. Boom.

He cried. Like, real tears. I saw it. He sat in the corner muttering things like, "Why did I choose this life?" and "I should’ve become a florist," and "I miss sleep like it’s my long-lost lover."

But does he leave?

Nope.

He just wipes his tears with palace reports and mutters something about "pension and honor" and keeps scribbling away.

Whatever it was, Theon accepted his fate. Like a tragic side character in a play titled "The Assistant Who Couldn’t Escape Taxes."

Anyway.

That’s what’s been going on for the past week.

But do you want to know what’s even more disturbing? More hair-raising? More... dramatic than a noble family being wiped from existence?

...

MARSHI. HAS. FALLEN. IN. LOVE.

Yes.

My divine beast. My majestic fluffball of power. The bringer of storms and chaos.

HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A CAT.

A CAT.

A WANDERING, FLUFFY, SUSPICIOUSLY-ELEGANT, RANDOM PALACE CAT.

We were just walking back from the garden. I turned around for ONE second. ONE. And the next thing I know?

He’s making the heart eyes emoji in real life. I swear his tail turned into a heart shape.

And when I picked him up to drag him back because hello? You don’t court strange cats without a background check—

He. Hissed. At. Me.

At ME. HIS MASTER. THE PRINCESS. THE SUPREME SUPPLIER OF SNACKS.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU—" I yelled.

And he hissed again, all pouty and sparkly-eyed, like I just ruined his royal wedding.

"Stop hissing! I am your MASTER, and you’re NOT allowed to chase after some RANDOM BEAUTIFUL CAT YOU MET TWO MINUTES AGO! SHE CAN BE A CHEATER!"

He huffed. Literally huffed like an overdramatic prince denied his bride. Then he whipped his head away, flung his tail like a diva’s scarf, and climbed to the top of my wardrobe with such majestic sass, I almost applauded.

"This. Darn. Divine. Beast." I muttered.

I can’t believe this is my life now. Palace politics? Criminal empires? Entire families being deleted like badly written side characters?

Sure. Fine. Great.

But babysitting a love-struck divine beast who’s now writing sad, tragic love poems on the top of my wardrobe with his PAW...?

...

That’s just too much.

"Fine... stay angry..." I muttered, arms crossed, glaring up at the majestic fluff of betrayal. "But I can’t let you fall in love with her, okay?"

Yes. I said it.

I. SAID. IT.

The room went so silent, I swear even the wind paused to sip tea.

And of course, behind me...

"Pfft—" That was Marella.

"She’s behaving like a mother who’s opposing her son’s love affair..." She whispered like it was a scene from a palace drama. Which, apparently, it now is.

"Shhh, let her be," Nanny Chuckles hushed her, but I caught the smile in her voice. They think this is FUNNY? This is parental agony!

I turned around slowly, with all the dignity of a five-year-old princess scorned by her cat. "I am NOT opposing his love affair," I announced. "I’m just... protecting him from heartbreak! That cat could be... a spy! Or married! Or worse—a DOG in disguise!"

Ravick actually gasped. "The scandal."

Marshi, up on his dramatic perch, let out a long, soulful meooooooow like some rejected opera singer.

More tail fwipping. Dramatic sigh. Paws over eyes. Full heartbreak mode: activated.

"What’s happening?"

As I saw him, I yeeted myself at him like a tiny missile.

"Papa... that divine beast is BROKEN."

"Wait... They’re leaving already?" I blinked up at Papa.

"Is everyone here?" Brother Lysandre asked, and I sprinted toward Grandpa Thalein.

"Grandpa~~~!" I squealed.

His eyes softened instantly, turning from an ancient healer of legend to a giant magical puppy. He knelt down with open arms.

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify