Wild Nights With My Brother’s Ex-Best Friend novel Chapter 30

NICOLE

“She’s with me,” is truly all Esmeralda has to say to the security guards at the door before taking me inside the venue where Carmen Lowett’s party is being held.

The word opulence isn’t grand enough to describe the display of wealth all around me. Though I have bigger things to worry about, I look around, taking everything in. Almost like I’m committing everything to memory.

I think it’s my way of not dealing with what’s happening right now, which is confronting the possibility that Roman could be lying to me about everything he’s ever said.

But I’m about I find out.

“Amazing, right?” she comments as she bumps her shoulder into mine. Right now, I can’t pay attention to her, and I don’t even bother with a smile. My eyes are searching the crowd for Roman, and I’m terrified that I’ll spot him.

“Armand’s right over there. Want to say hello?”

Distractedly, I nod. As she drags me toward the other end of the massive hall filled with people, my eyes finally land on him.

Already, my heart is breaking into tiny pieces. My lips are parted because I can’t breathe through my nose anymore. He’s truly here.

I believed Esmeralda when she told me because she wouldn’t have lied, as she has no reason to, but it’s still a stab in the back. Why would he be here when they broke up? That’s not adding up.

“Hello, Nicole,” Armand says to me in his raspy voice. He’s holding a glass of scotch in his hand, and he leans toward me to place two kisses on my cheeks. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” I mumble as I look away from Roman. I’m in this permanent state of disbelief-the raw kind. It feels like I’m floating. I’m sweating. Dizzy. Nauseous. I want to place my hands on either side of my head and scream until my throat bleeds.

This can’t be happening.

Esmeralda and Armand start talking about…hell, I don’t even know. I look over my shoulder again at Roman. The pain on my chest is unbearable as it is, but it worsens when I see him standing close to Carmen, smiling down at her.

She stands on the tips of her toes and kisses his lips, then wipes her lipstick off. She chuckles at something he says before he kisses the side of her head and pulls her close to him. His arm is around her shoulder. Her head’s on his fucking chest.

The knife sinks in deeper, and tears finally fill my eyes.

I have to close my eyes to keep them from falling. The world around me becomes a blur. I’m no longer seeing or hearing anything-everything hurts. Badly.

I’m going to break down in front of all these people. I shouldn’t have come here, searching for a truth big enough to kill me.

Thankfully, Esmeralda and Armand aren’t paying any attention to me. I turn my body away from them slightly, not wanting them to see my face. Then, someone taps a mic because that’s the sound that fills the hall, and my stomach lurches when Roman’s voice fills my ears.

“Good evening, everyone,” he says. “Thank you all for being here. We appreciate every single one of you, Carmen and I, and wouldn’t have chosen a better group of people to celebrate this special night with.”

The crowd cheers, and I wipe a hand down my face to clear my vision. He’s in the same suit he wore when he took me to the sex club-this is all very much real.

I reach the exit, then make it to my car. There, I cry and cry, sobbing until I can feel like this weight on my chest is a little lighter. But that doesn’t happen. I don’t think I’ll ever run out of tears concerning this.

I think about ten minutes pass. From my car, I can see the entrance to the hotel as clear as day. And the truth? Roman never came after me. And the worst part? The desperate part of me that’s hopelessly in love with him waited.

I fucking waited. Isn’t that ridiculous?

I start the car and speed away, sobbing because I know that deep down, I’ll never recover from this. Not ever. I ignored the red flags and my instincts from the very start. I knew I should’ve kept my distance, but I chose to be a needy whore and betray my own brother, someone who’s been with me through thick and thin, to spend a few wild nights with a man who used me and tossed me aside like I was nothing.

How can I go back and face Mason? I’d never survive the shame and embarrassment. I can’t run to him now that I know he was telling the truth. He probably won’t even want to see me.

If the roles were reversed, how would I feel?

No, right now, what I want is to disappear from the face of the earth. I want to forget everything that’s associated with being Nicole Monroe.

I’ve never hated myself more than I do now.

But I have a feeling this will only get worse.