Wild Nights With My Brother’s Ex-Best Friend novel Chapter 32

NICOLE

I stare at the pregnancy test and my stomach churns all over again. Only this time, I have nothing else to vomit.

Positive.

I drop the test to the floor and sit on the edge of my bed. My mouth is agape and shock washes over me. Dammit, how can I be pregnant?

I mean, then again, how can’t I be pregnant?

For the most part, Roman and I used protection. But there was this one time we didn’t, and I guess that was enough to knock me up.

Fuck. This is just what I needed.

A baby.

I can’t even cry. I’m so shocked that I simply can’t believe it. A baby? How am I supposed to have one when I don’t even have a job? I have nothing-I blew the money my mother left for me. I sabotaged my chance of having a great career early on. I have no home. No safety net.

I’m not even mature, come to think of it. Just last month, I made a horrible mistake that cost me so damn much. I’m a terrible judge of character. I give in to my feelings way too much. I’m stubborn. Stupid. A brat. A liar. An awful, backstabbing sister.

What kind of mother will I be? No child deserves to have someone like me take care of them.

Finally, the tears do come. My hand moves to my belly, and I sob. I don’t feel the baby yet. I’m pretty sure it’s super tiny at this point. But dammit, the thought of an abortion horrifies me more than anything else.

I have Ma’s sentimental side.

Now, I have a piece of Roman and the terrible thing he did to me. It’s right inside of me, growing with each passing day.

This is all my fault. Mine, mine, mine.

Sometime later, I stop the tears and run a hand down my face before splashing some water on it. It’s too late to cry now, and anyway, it won’t help. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it.

This has to be my awakening-a wake-up call to life.

This is when I finally take responsibility for all my actions and stop treating myself like a damn victim. I’m not a victim. Roman ruined me and I enjoyed every second of it. I did this to myself. I should’ve known what would happen and deep down, early on, I was hesitant. But when the pleasure reached new heights, I forgot everything else. Left behind all morality and abandoned my sense of righteousness.

But this baby…this is the one thing I have to do right.

I take a few deep breaths and return to the room. I open my laptop and search for more jobs. I can’t give up. In a few months, I’ll need to stay home, so I need a safety net early on.

I’ll need money. Lots of it.

I find a few that capture my attention, but what really grabs my attention is an email I receive from Katie.

Seeing her name on my screen makes me feel like crap. I’ve been ignoring everyone-including the people who aren’t exactly close to me-and it’s not fair. She wants to meet up for coffee and claims that she’ll be waiting for me at a coffee shop downtown, where she always goes at ten AM sharp.

Though I have a lot to worry about, I decide to go.

If anything, I need Katie’s sensible advice. I don’t know if it’s because she reminds me so much of Ma, but being around her makes me feel better, and I always learn something from our conversations.

I get ready and arrive at the coffee shop on time. I’m surprised to find her exactly where she told me she’d be, with a cup of coffee in front of her and a cat on her lap. Yes, a cat. It seems the coffee shop is a place where you can stroke a cat to your heart’s desire.

No, that sounds weird. Let’s just say the name is Coffee and Cat. Pretty…creative.

“Nicole,” Katie says, standing up as I make my way to her table. We exchange a few polite kisses, and then I sit across from her.

Katie chuckles. “Well, in any case, he’s looking for you.”

“Probably to kill me.”

“I very much doubt that.”

I take a deep breath and rub my eyes. Katie watches me silently for a bit. I then say, “I just need more time to get my thoughts in order and get over the shame I feel. It’s crippling.”

She nods. “I can imagine.”

I search her eyes. “What do you feel about all this? Tell me the truth. Please.”

“All I see is a young woman who made a mistake, learned a valuable lesson, and will do her best to better herself. You’re not the villain in this story, Nicole. Blame yourself all you want-he’s the monster.”

I have to admit that her words make me feel a little better. Katie’s always been honest. She wouldn’t lie to me. She clears her throat and says, “Now, for that job you’re hunting. I might have a solution for you.”

My eyes light up. “Really?”

There’s a mischievous glint in her eyes, and she nods before reaching for her phone and making a call.

I prop my head on my hand and watch her.