Wild Nights With My Brother’s Ex-Best Friend novel Chapter 35

NICOLE

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Sebastian says to Carmen. He then gestures to me. “This is Nicole. She works with me.”

I can’t keep my eyes trained on the ground. I’m only humiliating myself more. So, as hard as it is, I look up, and my spine turns to steel as I look at Roman’s face.

He isn’t looking at me, though.

His eyes are on Sebastian, and his jaw is clenched.

“Hm,” Carmen says, drawing my attention. “You look familiar to me. Have we met before?”

Yes. I spilled a drink on you once, and a month ago, I snuck into your birthday party and got my heart shattered into a million pieces. I smile and say politely, “No, I don’t think we have.”

“Ah,” she says before her eyes return to Sebastian’s face. “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m slowly getting more and more acquainted with Roman’s friends and let me tell you-I don’t think I’ll ever truly know everyone.”

Sebastian laughs politely. “Yes, well. He’s Roman Hayes, after all.”

Though my eyes are on Sebastian now as he speaks, I can’t help but pay attention to Roman and how tense he looks. He doesn’t look at me once. A few weeks ago, that would’ve hurt more than it is now, but who am Į kidding?

It still hurts. Pain is pain, and it means unresolved feelings.

Thinking about all of this while he’s standing right in front of me is wrong, though. But I’m not as angry as I should’ve been. It’s more a deep-rooted sadness mixed with disappointment.

“Well, we’ve got to run.” Sebastian places his hand on my upper back and Roman’s eyes follow the movement. It’s the only way he acknowledges my presence. “It was great seeing you.”

Thankfully, we walk right past them and I can breathe again, Sebastian goes on telling me about the restaurant and the food they serve, and I allow myself to focus on this while thinking that was okay. I didn’t break down. Right now, I don’t feel like crying. I’m a little tense, but that’s normal.

Is this what healing looks like?

I sit across from him in the restaurant, and he patiently tells me all his favorite meals and why he loves them. This takes my attention away from the incident with Roman. I focus more on him.

A waiter takes our orders, and then silence falls upon us. Sebastian keeps looking at me, though. He doesn’t avert his gaze for a second. Then, he asks, “So, what happens to the charity now that you have a job?”

I sigh. “It’s going to suffer, I guess. I worked there full-time for so long. But it was declining anyway. There are many more charities around that are a lot more organized. I was mostly alone.”

Sebastian nods slowly. “You’re not taking that too well, are you?”

I shake my head again, but keep my lips sealed. I’m pretty sure that if I say something, I’ll sob.

Our drinks arrive, and he changes the subject. Our talk becomes more professional. He explains how he started the company with a few friends, and how his parents didn’t really support it initially because they wanted him to work with them.

“My mother is…she’s a demanding woman, and she has high standards for people. Impossibly high standards. If it weren’t for Katie, I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself.”

Oh, I could tell his mother was demanding. But I ask, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I spent a lot of time with her. She’s easygoing and believes that it’s important to do what you love in life to make it worthwhile. Wasting time going after money is a mistake so many people make. But what’s the point of having money when you’re miserable?”

“Maybe some jobs just pay well, and a lot of people could do with the extra money,” I point out.

I want to do what’s right, not just for me, but for the baby.

Can I bring a baby into this life without a supportive father? Hell, will my child never know who the other half of him or her belongs to? What do I have? What do I know about parenthood? I was the last born, spoiled rotten by Ma. Maybe that’s why I have no strong sense of responsibility.

Do I have what it takes to be a mother? Doesn’t that count for something? Is it fair that my child should suffer because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing?

I spend the whole day at the motel. Thankfully, I’ve calmed down. There’s nothing much to do, so I call Katie and thank her for the job, and she reminds me about the dinner at her place. Then, I research everything there is to know about growing tech companies. I want to know the important terms. The process behind it.

Its uses.

Everything. For some reason, I feel like impressing Sebastian is important.

When the sun sets, I’ve forgotten all about it, and I’m fully immersed in my work:

But all that crumbles when someone knocks on my door.

I raise my head sharply, heart pounding mercilessly in my chest.