Alpha alec's redemption (Sadie) novel Chapter 285

I stay in the clearing for a few minutes, breathing in the clean air and grounding myself in the present.

No matter what happens… no matter how heavy this burden gets… I can’t let it consume me. I can’t lose myself in the process.

Since we transitioned, I’ve felt so overwhelmed. I’ll admit, there were moments I felt completely lost. Nights I silently begged the goddess to take this all away. Moments before sleep, when I questioned everything and wondered, why me? I never asked for any of this.

I used to dream of a simple life with my mate. Just peace and love and quiet. But this? This is far more than I ever bargained for. I bet the fates laughed themselves sick every time I dared to hope for something so simple.

Who would have thought this was what lay ahead? A mate who inherited a cursed, dying pack. A mate deceived into almost choosing another. A destiny that involved torture at the hands of that very mate… and a fate that now demands I kill a demi-god to save the same people who once turned a blind eye.

But as much as I didn’t ask for this, I can’t walk away. Too many people—Aspen included—are depending on me to see this through.

It’s funny how the weight of that didn’t hit me until now.

I may not be from this pack, but Aspen is. Her blood connects her to her father, and Alec’s bloodline has ruled this land since his great-great-great-something-grandfather founded it. So even if Aspen wasn’t born here, she’s tied to it in a way I never was. And whether or not she inherits my powers, the curse will touch her… as long as Kaden still lives.

Shaking my head, I turn and leave the clearing. My thoughts are noisy—bouncing around like marbles in a glass jar. Different scenarios spin through my mind. Different strategies. Different ways to make sure I master this power… because failure is not an option.

I move silently, thoughts swirling, until the sound of grunts and fists hitting flesh pulls me toward the training arena.

I change direction.

There’s nothing for me at the pack house right now—Raven’s asleep and if I stay there, I’ll just spiral in my thoughts. Overthinking myself into the grave.

I stop near the arena and lean against the wooden post, watching.

Alec stands across the field, legs braced apart, arms folded across his chest. He has that focused, serious expression I know too well by now… but it doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s still good-looking.

“You’re doing him a disservice,” Nyx mutters flatly. “He’s not just good-looking. He’s scorching hot.”

“Hush, Nyx.”

“What?” she asks, tone far too innocent. “I’m just stating facts. Can you imagine how it would feel to have him inside us, that powerful body on top of—”

“Seriously, Nyx,” I cut her off, trying to push away the images she’s now flooding my mind with. “How do you go from war plans to p**n in two minutes?”

She shrugs, all wolfish grin and mischief. “Life’s complicated. Why not give yourself a little mental vacation?”

“Out of everything you could think about, and your first thought is sex?”

“What else is there to think about?”

I blink at her, stunned into silence. Sometimes I wonder if my wolf has a split personality or something because it just doesn’t make sense.

“I don’t know… Aspen? The pack? The fact that we’re on a suicide mission?”

“Sadie,” she snorts, “we haven’t gotten any in months. I’m a wolf. I crave touch. Sex. Intimacy. And I’m not ashamed to admit that.”

I close my eyes and exhale. Wolves are sensual by nature. We crave contact, closeness. The only species that might rival us in that department are vampires.

It’s been a couple of months since we hooked up with anyone, so I do understand where her frustrations stem from. Apart from during the full moon, I haven’t really struggled with it, but that might be because I have so much in my head that getting fucked is the least of my worries.

“We’ll sort it out once things settle,” I tell her, hoping it’ll pacify her.

“But that could take forever.”

She has a point there; we can’t really be sure when things will end. We might find Kaden’s location tomorrow or find it a year from now.

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