**Fireflies in Winter Rain — Neil A. Varma**
**Chapter 64**
Carolyn,
I fixed my gaze on the phone, willing it to crack under the intensity of my stare. My jaw clenched tightly, a physical manifestation of the whirlwind of rage and icy despair swirling within me. Thirty-six times. Thirty-six calls to Cassian, each one a desperate plea that fell into the void. The number of messages I had sent was lost to me, but I knew they were countless, all met with silence.
What was he doing? Who was he with? Why couldn’t he find the time to come to me? What could possibly be more important than the woman who had stood steadfastly by his side through every storm? How dare he treat me this way?
Hot, bitter tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I pushed them back, fueled by a rising tide of fury and disappointment. I snatched the phone from the table, my legs feeling weak and unsteady, like jelly beneath me. Yet, as the anger surged, I felt my blood begin to boil.
I couldn’t contain myself any longer. I let out a scream, raw and unrestrained, echoing through the room. “Cassian, you bastard! How could you abandon me when I need you the most?” The sound clawed its way from my throat, a primal cry that sent my servants rushing into the room, their faces pale and filled with alarm.
“My Lady, please calm down!” Butler Mathew entered, his brow furrowed with concern. His voice, though soft, held an edge of urgency as his eyes scanned me, assessing the damage.
“He has something important to deal with,” he said, trying to soothe the storm brewing inside me.
“Something important?” I exploded, hurling the table lamp against the wall. The glass shattered, sending shards flying, and the light flickered wildly across the room. “What could possibly be more important than me? What could be more important than his best friend lying helplessly in bed?” I fell to my knees, my voice rising in desperation. My nails dug into my palms, crescents of pain that grounded me in my fury.
“Please, do not act recklessly. The healer assured us you would be alright with proper care,” Mathew warned, his voice trembling slightly with urgency.
“I don’t care! Tell him to come to me. He owes me this,” I commanded, my voice brittle and strained, tasting the metallic tang of frustration at the back of my throat.
The servants exchanged glances, their expressions reflecting confusion as if I were speaking a language they did not understand.
“My Lady, His Majesty has not returned home. He has not taken any calls from Beta Lorenzo either. We are unaware of his whereabouts,” Mathew replied, each word carefully chosen, as if he were walking on eggshells.
They didn’t know. Where could he possibly be, leaving the Pack behind?
“Wait, where is Roana? Where is she?” I pressed, my voice cracking with urgency. Maybe he had gone to find her; he had been asking about her just days before.
Desperation gnawed at my insides, and I bit my nails until each fingertip throbbed. He could not forget his loyalty, not after everything we had endured together. He had taken a wife, yet he had the audacity to forget the woman who had stood by him through thick and thin.
“The Luna Queen has not been home for two days. We do not know her whereabouts either,” Mathew answered, his tone steady but tinged with concern.
Two days. I replayed the moment I had told Cassian I had seen her. Had he discovered my lie? Was that the reason for his silence? The thought made my stomach twist with dread.
What should I do? What if he never came home?
“My Lady, it is past midnight. His Majesty has been investigating the matter since the beginning. It may be wise to leave him be for now,” Butler Mathew advised, his voice low but firm, as if he were trying to anchor me in this storm of emotions.
“Are you suggesting that my desire to see him is somehow complicating things? Who am I in this equation?” I shrieked, my voice rising in pitch.


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