Ex-Husband's Regret (Ava and Rowan) novel Chapter 115

Emma

“I still can’t believe that Ava is a Howell” Travis says as we enter our parent’s home.

I was having a hard time with the news myself. Everything seemed so surreal. Like I couldn’t for the love of me believe everything that has been revealed.

“I know right?” I mutter.

I thought I had an advantage against her. Finding out she was adopted was the best feeling ever. After Ethan told us that her parents were actually rich, every happy feeling was destroyed. I wanted her to come from a poor background. It would have given me an advantage over her even if she was rich right now.

If she had come from a poor family then I would always be better than her. Superior to her in a way. The way our society works is that, you’re respected more if you family has connection. If your family has roots and comes from a long line of money. You may be rich and they will respect that, but you’ll be respected more if you come from a wealthy family.

I had hoped that would be the case when Ethan told us she’s adopted. I thought that maybe her parent’s couldn’t afford to raise her or maybe they were junkies and they decided to put her up for adoption. It would have been a big mark against her in our social circle and I would have been there to see them whisper and gossip about her.

The jokes on me though. The Howell’s may not live in our city, but they’re known. Just like Rowan’s family, they are really powerful and they run this country. If they announce that Ava is their daughter. Her social standing will go up. She’ll be above me in every way. Worse than that, she’ll be in the same standing level as Rowan.

“What are we going to do though? How are we going to get her to forgive us?” Travis asks breaking the silence and pulling me from my thoughts.

Was he fucking seriously right now? Why the fuck would I want her damn forgiveness? She’s the one who should be asking for forgiveness. Begging me to forgive her for what she did to me.

“How many times will I tell you that I will never forgive her? Gosh Travis, I even wish that the bastard that Ethan had hired to kill her had done it before Ethan arrived to save her” I scream at him.

Without waiting for a reply from him I storm upstairs completely pissed off. I get to my room and slam the door in anger. Why couldn’t they understand that this isn’t easy for me? Why couldn’t they understand that it was hard for me to move on?

It still fucking hurts. Every day I wake up then go to sleep, the pain is still there. I breathe it in then out. It has become a part of me. Meshed its-self deep inside me that I don’t know how to live without it.

I know it’s toxic. I know it's destroying me, but I just don’t know how to let go of it. I don’t know how to stop myself from hating Ava. She took everything from me. All I ever wanted was Rowan and she took him from me.

I planned my life around him, so sure that we would end up together and she took that future away.