Ex-Husband's Regret (Ava and Rowan) novel Chapter 72

The warm light on my face wakes me up. At first, I’m confused as to how I ended up in my room, but then the heavy hand around my waist brings back memories of what happened.

I start to internally panic so much that I’m afraid I’ll wake Ethan up. I didn’t want him up now. Not when I was having a nervous breakdown. Not while my head was a mess. As slowly as I can, I get up and leave the bed.

He turns and murmurs something in his sleep, but he doesn’t wake up. I heave a sigh of relief even as I put some clothes on and pick up my phone from the dresser.

I Tip toe to the door and wince a little when I open it and it creeks. I look back, my heart in my mouth. I’m immediately thankful when I see Ethan still in bed.

The sheets were down to his waist, exposing his very well-defined abs, and an arm was thrown over his face. Swallowing loudly, I leave the room.

I walk down my stairs feeling like I was doing the walk of shame, even though I was in my own house. The soreness between my legs, a testament to how Ethan took his job of remedying my pain seriously.

The moment I get to the kitchen, I let loose. All the panic and anxiety I tried stifling in my room rushes through me like an avalanche.

“Call down; people have sex all the time,” I try telling myself, but instead of calming down, it only increases the pace of my wildly beating heart.

I start pacing the tiled floors. Still unable to believe that I had sex with another man. I always thought that the only man who would ever touch me or see me naked is Rowan. Here we are though, not only did I let Ethan kiss me, but I also allowed him into my bed.

Tired of pacing, I sit on the kitchen stool. My feet tapping nervously on the floor. What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to act? I didn’t know what the protocol after these type of things happened is.

Am I supposed to make him breakfast? Would he even want breakfast? Is it something that will happen again or is it a one nightstand?

I place a hand on my beating heart. I felt like my chest was going to explode. I’ve never done something like this before. Even if I hadn’t been in love with Rowan, I always believed that I would only give myself to a man who I have feelings for. I did feel something for Ethan but they were currently not strong.

The only time Rowan ever took me like that was the first time we had sex, and it was only because he thought he was sleeping with Emma, the love of his fucking life.

I always wanted it to be like that between us. Always thought that something was missing. It wasn’t bad, but I just wanted more.

Now, after my night with Ethan, I realize what has been missing between Rowan and me: passion. I also realize that it had been missing because I wasn’t who he had wanted.

I push the pain that tries to resurface away. I didn’t want to think that Rowan was holding back even when we were having sex simply because he’d wanted another woman instead.

I go back to my phone. Just to distract myself from the turmoil of what was happening inside me. I find more texts wishing me a happy birthday. They were from Travis, Letty, Mother and even Gabe. I ignore the rest and make a mental note to reply to Letty’s later.