**Healing Slowly But Surely**
By R. Joseph
49 Apologies.
Leilani.
“Let go.” My voice was barely above a whisper, yet it dripped with a menacing undertone that could slice through the thickest tension in the air. Zevran hesitated, his grip on me faltering as his eyes widened slightly, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his face before he reluctantly released me.
“Leilani…” he began, his tone laced with an urgency that I had long grown weary of.
“Shut it.” I cut him off sharply, my words a blade meant to sever the ties of this toxic exchange before it could spiral further into the abyss of their manipulative games.
I was done. Absolutely, unequivocally done with them. With their games, their demands, and most importantly, their incessant need to control my life.
What infuriated me the most? The relentless interruptions that invaded my existence, like unwelcome guests that refused to take the hint and leave.
Despite the years of mistreatment and degradation that had etched themselves into my memory, they still clung to me like shadows, refusing to let me find peace.
For what felt like an eternity, I had yearned for their attention. I had desperately wanted them to love and cherish me, even if it was just a fraction of the affection they so freely lavished upon Chalice.
I had longed for the envy that would spark in their eyes whenever they caught me laughing or sharing moments with others, especially with other men.
And now, that very jealousy had manifested, but it came four years too late.
With a dismissive shrug, I declared, “I arrived here with Alpha Landry, and I will leave with him too. And for the record, do not ever refer to me as your mate, Alpha Kael and Zevran. We had an agreement.”
The icy resolve in my voice must have struck a chord, for I noticed Zevran’s eyes widen in shock. Even Kael, who had been leaning against the wall with an air of arrogance, slowly pushed himself upright and stepped closer to me.
Their warmth radiated toward me, almost overwhelming my senses, sending shivers down my spine. It was intoxicating yet infuriating, igniting a fire of desire and anger within me.
“I cannot do that, I cannot live with that.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing away the feelings that threatened to engulf me, and let out a derisive snort. “If you cannot live with it, then die with it.”
Desperation flickered in Zevran’s gaze as he gripped my arm tightly, his eyes pleading. “Please, we just need to talk to you!”
“What for?” I shot back, my voice sharp enough to draw a gasp from him.
Kael stepped forward, closing the distance between us, his body pressing against mine. The warmth of his breath brushed against my skin, sending a jolt through me. “We just want to apologize.”
For a heartbeat, I was frozen, caught off guard by the unexpected admission. My mind raced, disbelief washing over me. My mouth felt parched, and my tongue weighed heavy with the weight of his words. Heat flooded my cheeks, and the neglected teenager within me stirred, quaking at the prospect of an apology long sought after.
“Ever since that day at the boutique, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I feel like shit and I am embarrassed that I accused you of trying to hurt Chalice without knowing the full story. And for that, I am sorry.”
Those words had been a fantasy of mine for years; I had craved to hear them uttered from his lips. Yet, as I listened, they felt hollow, devoid of sincerity.
I shrugged him off, my heart hardened. “Do you have any idea how many times that scenario has played out in the past? How many times I was blamed for things I didn’t do, all because Chalice decided to twist the narrative?” My voice trembled, the weight of my pain threatening to spill over. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them back fiercely.
“If I tell you I didn’t kill Grandma Aurora, will you believe me?” I snapped, my voice rising in pitch. The floodgates opened, and tears streamed down my cheeks, each drop a testament to the anguish buried deep within me.
I felt raw. Exposed. And the most painful realization?
When Kael shrugged dismissively, his expression one of disbelief. “Now, you’re lying.”
That statement cut deeper than any knife. It ignited a firestorm of rage within me, a pain that twisted my heart until I could barely breathe.
All the emotions I had once felt evaporated, replaced by a seething fury. I clenched my fists, fighting the urge to strike him. Instead, I spat out, “Then you can shove your apology up your ass.”

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