Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 274

Chapter 274: Surprise Guests (The Dangerous Kind)

[Everheart Estate—Regis’s Office—Some Days Later]

"...What!?" I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Father just nodded, face dark and stormy, like a thundercloud that could crush me with one glare. He mumbled, "...that’s right...... Osric. Cassius is trying to take away my daughter-in-law from me, and... I cannot let that happen."

I froze, blinking at him.

. . .

. . .

Wait... what? He’s obsessed with making Lavi his daughter-in-law? I’d known my father had quirks, but this... this was a new level of eccentricity. And at his age? Really?

Then he slammed the desk so hard I thought it might crack and stood up, voice booming: "He cannot go to the family picnic with my dearest daughter-in-law... without his complete family!"

I blinked. "And... who exactly counts as the complete family?"

Father didn’t even flinch. He pointed at me like a general commanding an army. "ME. AND YOU."

I blinked again. Slowly. "...You... you do realize I’m the groom, right?"

He wheeled on me, eyes blazing. "Then plan to propose to her, Osric! Make it so grand, so spectacular, that even Cassius cries!"

I tried to imagine the scene.

His majesty crying, huh? Yeah... right. More likely he’d raise his sword and stab me on the spot. I couldn’t help but mutter under my breath, "...or just decapitate me where I stand."

Father didn’t hear me—or maybe he did and just ignored it like I was an annoying insect. He folded his hands behind his back and muttered, almost to himself, "Now... I have no choice but to make an official announcement soon."

I leaned back in my chair, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Of course. Of course my life had become a romantic comedy written by someone who clearly hated subtlety. I was the groom, my father was a war general, and His majesty... well, His majesty was a deadly storm waiting to ruin everything.

I rubbed my temples. "Father... I hope you recall... I’m the one proposing here, not you. And I have, you know... feelings to consider."

Father whipped his gaze at me, sharp as a blade. "Exactly! So make it unforgettable. Make it so grand that even the stars weep and the mountains bow... and if Cassius dares complain, he’ll wish the earth swallowed him whole!"

I opened my mouth, ready to argue. But really... what could I even say? "Sure, Dad. Totally subtle. Totally normal. No pressure."

And just like that, my life had officially turned into a battlefield of romance, grandeur, and impending sword fights.

Anyway... proposing to Lavi had always been on my life goals list. Check that—top of the list, above "don’t get decapitated by His majesty." Now the real question: how the hell do I do this?

Should I make it public?

No... that would be a royal disaster. His Majesty would separate my head from my neck so fast I’d need a new one for dinner or he’d probably organize a duel on the spot just for the spectacle.

Proposal under the moonlight?

Romantic, yes. But let’s be honest—mosquitoes love me more than anyone else on this planet, and I guarantee Lavi would smack me with a pillow before I could get past the first "Will you..."

Dinner proposal?

Classic, elegant... and very likely to end with me choking on something expensive while Lavi tries to hide her laughter.

Picnic proposal?

Cute idea—except my father would probably show up with his ceremonial sword just to "protect his daughter-in-law," turning a romantic moment into a training exercise for assassins.

I groaned, rubbing my temples. There had to be a perfect plan. Something romantic, dramatic, unforgettable... yet survivable.

Maybe... just maybe... I could bribe the stars to align, hire a choir of nightingales."

I sighed dramatically, flopping back in my chair. Romance had never felt this dangerous. But then again... for Lavi, I’d gladly march into a dozen royal executions.

And maybe... just maybe... she’d laugh at my chaos and say yes anyway.

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