Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 275

Chapter 275: The Picnic

[Lavinia’s POV — Outside the Palace Gates—The Birthday Picnic Begins]

Papa’s roar echoed through the courtyard like a war horn.

"YOU—YOU BASTARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

Birds flew from the nearby trees. Even the horses looked mildly traumatized.

Osric flinched, visibly regretting every life decision that led him to this exact moment. Grand Duke Regis, however, merely adjusted his collar with the serenity of a man who’s been yelled at by kings and lived to mock them afterward.

"Ah, Emperor Cassius," Regis said pleasantly, as though he’d just been greeted with a warm hug instead of a death threat. "So nice to see you too. What a fine day for a family outing, isn’t it?"

"Family outing!?" Papa barked, his face reddening. "Since when are you part of my family!?"

Regis smiled with infuriating calm. "Since my future daughter-in-law kissed my son openly. Naturally, where my son goes, I follow. Family spirit, you know."

I buried my face in my hands. "Oh no..."

Osric glanced at me helplessly, mouthing ’please help me’ while his father and mine glared daggers at each other. Marshi wagged his tail, clearly enjoying the tension. Solena flapped her wings.

Papa crossed his arms. "You’re not coming."

Regis raised a brow. "I already packed sandwiches."

Papa blinked. "What?"

"Ham and cheese," Regis replied gravely. "I don’t waste good food, Emperor Cassius. Especially not when it’s meant for my daughter-in-law’s special day."

The silence that followed was thick enough to slice with a butter knife.

Papa’s jaw twitched. His fist clenched at his side as he growled, "Ravick... throw Regis—"

I immediately grabbed his arm. "Papa," I said quickly, widening my eyes into full adorable daughter mode. "It’s my birthday picnic. Can we all not... enjoy it together? You know, the more people, the more fun!"

He froze. My ultimate weapon—puppy eyes and sweetness overload—hit its target perfectly.

"Fine," Papa muttered, sighing in defeat. "Whatever my daughter wishes."

I beamed and threw my arms around him. "You’re the best, Papa!"

He smiled despite himself and patted my head. "Alright, alright, enough flattery. Let’s leave before that old vulture changes his mind."

Behind us, Regis smirked. "Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m quite looking forward to a family outing."

Papa shot him a glare sharp enough to cut marble.

Just then, footsteps approached.

"Wait for us!" Theon’s voice rang out. He hurried over, supporting Teacher Evelyn, who walked slowly beside him, her hand resting gently on her rounded belly.

"We’re coming too, Princess," she said softly, smiling despite the fatigue in her eyes.

I returned her smile. "Of course, Teacher Evelyn! But please, be careful. Don’t rush."

She laughed lightly. "With Theon fussing like a mother hen, I doubt I could even if I wanted to."

Theon flushed. "I’m not fussing—I’m just making sure you don’t trip!" 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

Sir Haldor and Sir Aldric followed right behind them, each carrying baskets and picnic blankets. Nanny bustled about with extra scarves, and Sera was clutching the parasols like her life depended on it.

Looking around, I couldn’t help but smile wider. The courtyard buzzed with laughter and chatter. Marshi Roared excitedly, his tail wagging like a flag of joy.

And just like that, it finally felt like a real picnic—warm, loud, chaotic, and full of the people who had been part of every corner of my life.

Then my eyes found Osric.

He was standing beside me, sunlight glinting off his hair, looking far too handsome for my peace of mind. I reached for his hand and smiled up at him, my heart blooming like spring. "I’m so happy you’re coming too, Osric. I heard Irethene has a lot of romantic spots for couples, so..." I squeezed his hand playfully. "...let’s make a memory there."

His eyes softened immediately. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his voice low and warm. "Yes, Lavi... we’ll make the best memories. Anything you want."

My smile deepened, my cheeks warming as he leaned forward—just about to kiss my forehead when—

"Touch her forehead with your disgusting lips," Papa’s voice thundered from behind, "and I shall cut those lips right off!"

Osric froze mid-motion, as if lightning had struck him. He straightened instantly, stepping back like a soldier caught misbehaving in front of his commander.

"I—ah—my apologies, Your Majesty," he stammered, forcing a polite smile. "I forgot I wasn’t... alone with Lavi."

Papa’s eye twitched. "So... you have been touching her with your rotten lips before."

Before I could intervene, Regis stepped in smoothly, clapping a hand on Papa’s shoulder. "Oh, come now, Cassius. I’ve seen them kissing passionately in my garden. You’ll have to get used to it—they’re going to be married one day."

The silence that followed was so deadly, I was half-convinced I heard the birds fly away in fear. Papa turned to him with the slow, mechanical precision of a horror doll, voice dropping to a lethal calm.

"Remove your hand before I remove it for you."

Papa glared at Osric one last time, finger pointing like a royal decree. "Do not display your affection publicly, boy. The next time you do, the only thing you’ll see is the dungeon... and me."

I sighed, suppressing a laugh, and muttered, "This is going to be the most peaceful picnic ever."

"Finish that sentence, boy," Papa said flatly from across the carriage, "and I’ll throw you through that portal myself."

Papa glared at him. "Do you want to join him in flight?"

***

[Later—Irethene Meadows]

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