Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 75

Chapter 75: The Diet Declaration & the Magic Portal Incident

I can’t believe a year has passed already since I, Princess Lavinia Devereux—the youngest (and arguably most powerful) royal in the Elarion Empire—issued my first royal decree.

And now I am already five.

Nothing much happened until after my first royal decree. No wars. No banquets. Just me playing, sleeping, eating, and repeating.

But lately... I’ve felt different. Heavier, even. Could be the winter blankets. Or gravity. Maybe the world just got heavier, and it’s not me. Yes. That makes sense.

Anyway, it was one of those mornings. The sun shone bright, the birds were chirping like they were in some kind of singing competition, and the palace halls were too peaceful—like something suspicious was about to happen.

"Up we go, my princess~" Nanny cooed in her usual morning-has-arrived-and-you-have-no-choice tone, scooping me up like I weighed nothing. (Which I definitely do. Nothing. Not a single gram more than last year. Probably.)

She plopped me onto the plush stool in front of the mirror and began fluffing my bedhead with her usual terrifying efficiency. "We’ve got a whole new wardrobe to try today! The Imperial tailors outdid themselves!"

Still blinking sleep out of my eyes, I rubbed at my eyes and looked toward the mountain of frills and fabric on the nearby rack. Marshi was still wobbling face-down on the bed. He lifted his head, then collapsed again. Same, Marshi. Same.

"Why do I need new clothes again?" I grumbled, squinting. "My last dress still fits... kind of... mostly..."

"It barely reached your knees, my princess," Nanny chuckled, already yanking off my nightgown with professional speed. "You’ve grown so much in the last few months. Look at these long legs! And your cheeks! So round and precious!"

I blinked. "Wait. Am I taller now?"

"Much taller," she confirmed proudly, holding up a dress—a soft sky-blue frock with silver embroidery on the sleeves and hem. It sparkled like starlight and screamed main character energy.

I grinned, puffing out my chest. "Then that means I’m stronger too!"

"Well, you certainly look sturdier," Marella chimed in innocently—or so it seemed—while holding another armful of gowns. "Especially your tummy. It’s like a royal cushion now."

...

My eyes widened in horror.

"...Excuse me?"

"Oh, I only meant it affectionately~" she sing-songed with a devilish grin. "So soft and squishy! Like bread dough!"

I gasped. Genuinely gasped. I grabbed the sides of the blue frock and looked down at my stomach like it had committed treason. "Nanny. Marella’s being mean." 𝑓𝘳𝑒𝑒𝓌𝘦𝘣𝘯ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝑚

Nanny, the traitor, was trying to suppress a laugh. "It’s natural for growing children, my princess."

Not satisfied, I turned dramatically to the only person who would tell me the truth: Ravick. Loyal knight. My silent shadow.

"Ravick."

He stiffened.

"Ravick," I repeated, pointing at my midsection with the seriousness of a royal investigation. "Do I look fat to you?"

He blinked.

"Well... uh... you see, my princess..." he stammered, scratching the back of his neck like a man trapped in a collapsing mine. "It’s... um... good for children to be... you know... a little chubby. Healthy! Very healthy!"

I gasped so loudly the windows nearly cracked. "WHAT?!"

Marella nearly dropped the dresses from laughing. Nanny tried (and failed) to look scandalized.

And then...

"I AM GOING ON A DIET!" I declared, hands on my hips like a revolutionary leader. "No more sweets! No more tarts! No more fluffy rolls with honey butter!"

"Wait, wait, let’s not get carried away—" Ravick said quickly, visibly sweating.

"I’ll eat carrots! And celery!" I marched in a dramatic circle, my dress flouncing like a battle flag. "From now on, I will eat less. No sugar!"

"Oh, princess," Marella chuckled, shaking her head. "You said that last time and then cried over a strawberry pie."

"That was an emotional day!" I shot back.

Nanny, now brushing my short golden hair into soft waves, sighed fondly. "Our little princess is growing up so quickly. Even her tantrums have more volume now."

"I’M NOT THROWING A TANTRUM. I WILL DIET. FOR. REAL."

"Of course, Your Highness," Nanny said gently, combing through a stubborn curl. "You can do whatever you want."

I nodded firmly. That’s right. No more snacks. No more desserts. I was a new woman now.

Then—like betrayal itself in human form—Nanny casually added, "Oh, by the way, I heard Chef Elowan baked fresh apple pie this morning."

I froze.

She continued, smooth as silk, "But since our princess wants to go on a diet, I suppose we should tell the chef to stop—"

"N—NO!" I yelled before I could stop myself. I mean—"I... I will go on a diet after eating apple pie."

The room erupted in laughter.

Even Ravick, the silent knight, bit his lip to keep from grinning.

I crossed my arms, flustered but firm. "How could I miss my apple pie? It’s tradition. It would be rude. To the chef. And the apples."

"Yes, yes, my princess," Nanny chuckled.

And so, I began my diet.

Right after the pie.

Maybe.

Probably.

...Eventually.

***

That apple pie?

Divine.

I rubbed my tummy with great satisfaction, feeling the warm, buttery sweetness still lingering on my tongue. "That," I announced to no one in particular, "was the best decision of my life."

What I walked into... was drama.

Papa was sitting in his throne and looked pissed. Across from him was Grandpa Thalein—looking just as stubborn, arms also crossed, but with extra grandpa energy.

Oooh... are they arguing?

Huh? Family? What does he mean?

Oh... does Grandpa want to take me to his kingdom?

MAGIC.

PORTAL.

I exploded from behind the pillar like a pie-powered cannonball and yelled, "MAGIC PORTAL?!"

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