Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 76

Chapter 76: Operation: Let Me Go Through the Magic Portal

"I wanna go through the portal."

That’s how it started. A simple declaration, delivered by me.

I raised one arm high like a tiny general leading a rebellion, while my loyal companion, the divine tiger Marshi (who totally looked like a fluffy cat), posed beside me like a mythical beast summoned for war.

Osric, who was training nearby, froze mid-swing.

Ravick, who was yelling at his knights to stop falling during formations, paused mid-bark.

And the knights? The ones who pretended not to be watching? They peeked from behind the bushes like guilty squirrels, sighed in unison, and quietly returned to their drills.

It was just another Tuesday.

Only one person didn’t seem surprised.

"That’s my girl," Grandpa Thalein said proudly, puffing up like a peacock in armor. "Tell your papa how the spirit of conquest burns in your noble veins."

"I WANNA GO THROUGH THE PORTAL!" I shouted louder, in case the entire capital missed it.

Even Marshi joined in. "Meow!!"

"That’s right, Marshi," I nodded solemnly. "Let’s go."

And just like that, I scooped up my divine tiger-cat, turned on my heel, and charged.

"Princess! WAIT!" Ravick yelled behind me, nearly tripping over his own sword. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

"TO PAPA!"

"Wh—No—You shouldn’t run, princess!" he bellowed. "YOU MIGHT FALL!"

And then it begins.

DAY-01 ROYAL NEGOTIATION BEGINS:

Boom! Entrance of Doom

I reached Papa’s office in record time—probably broke several toddler speed records—and SLAMMED the door open.

BAMMMM.

"PAPA!" I yelled, bursting in like a very small hurricane.

Papa looked up from his stack of very boring papers. His pen froze midair. His eyes narrowed. There was silence. The kind of silence you get when lightning is thinking about whether or not to strike. Even Theon was puzzled.

I strutted forward like a warrior demanding tribute, Marshi still in hand.

"Papa, I—"

"NO."

"...I didn’t even say anything yet!"

"No."

"But—!"

"Still no."

"You don’t even know what I was gonna say!"

"You yelled it across the entire palace."

I blinked. "...Oh."

Welp. Plan A: Shock and Awe = Failure.

I turned away dramatically, like a fallen hero who had been wronged by the universe."Let’s go, Marshi. He doesn’t believe in us."

DAY TWO: THE BRIBERY ATTEMPT

Today, I came prepared. Operation: Emotional Manipulation was a go.

I shuffled into Papa’s office with something hidden behind my back. Grandpa Thalein was peeking from behind the door, and I wore my sweetest face. The one I use when I want snacks. Or immunity.

"Papa?" I sang, sugar in my voice. "I brought you something."

Papa looked up from his desk like a man who had just heard thunder in a room with no windows. "...What did you do?"

"Nothin’! It’s a gift!"

Suspicion level: MAXIMUM.

"What kind of gift?" he asked slowly.

I revealed the prize with flourish: "Chocolate!"

Papa squinted at it. "What kind of chocolate?"

"Your favorite kind," I chirped. "The sad dark one."

He blinked. Papa stared at the bar. Then at me. Then back at the bar. "...Thank you?"

He took it, unwrapped it, cautiously broke off a square—and just as he brought it to his mouth, I leapt into his lap.

"NOW can I go to Nivale?" I beamed.

"No."

"WHYYYYYY!?"

"Because it’s dangerous."

"But I’m brave!"

"It’s surrounded by forest."

"I like trees!"

"It’s full of wolves."

"I LIKE WOLVES!"

"They like you too. As snacks."

I crossed my arms. "Papa, you’re being petty."

"I’m being reasonable."

"SIIIIIGH," I declared, the loudest sigh ever sighed. Even Marshi sighed with me. "Papa is a cold man. TOOOO COLD."

He ignored me and Theon chuckled.

DAY THREE: THE FINAL ACT(Also Known As: The Performance That Shook The Empire)

Today... I went for the drama.

I climbed onto Papa’s desk. Not beside it. Not in front of it. On. It.Right on top of all those boring things like tax scrolls, diplomatic memos, and something that said "Urgent: Border Trade Crisis."

I opened my eyes wider. Activate: Baby Bambi mode. My lower lip quivered. I sniffled dramatically. I even let one single, sparkly tear gather at the corner of my eye for maximum impact.

My eyes lit up. "Older, like... ten?"

"Mmmmmmph."Bribery successful. For now.

Later That Night(Post-Battle Recovery)

And then... he sighed. That long, tired sigh. The one that says, "I have fought and conquered kingdoms, rebels, and nobles, but this toddler will be the end of me."

So, warm~~

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