Wild Nights With My Brother's Ex-Best Friend novel Chapter 97

NICOLE

"I know this isn't easy for you to hear, but as a medical professional, my job is to be completely honest with you, Ms. Monroe. We got the lab and the scan results back. The injuries you sustained were very severe, so scar tissue has formed along the lining of your uterus. This means that you'd be unable to carry a normal pregnancy, even though your ovaries are producing eggs normally. You may have noticed that your period is lighter and..."

I block out her words after she tells me that. Unable to carry a normal pregnancy. Infertile. I hear this buzzing sound in my head and get nauseous suddenly. I want to throw up.

I'm going to be sick.

"Ms. Monroe?"

I snap my gaze to her face and watch as she stares back at me with mild concern. "If you'd like, I can recommend you to—"

"I just want to understand something," I say, cutting her off. "You mean to say that I'll never have a child again? Ever?"

"You could always explore options like surrogacy or even adoption, of course," she claims. "But you don't have enough healthy tissue in your lining to carry a child effectively. Even if an embryo does implant, it'll most likely cause many complications, or be a stillbirth."

I can't believe this.

I can't be hearing this.

I have this sudden urge to cry in front of her, but I hold back my tears and stare back at her as she continues to explain a whole bunch of things that simply don't register.

I'm shell-shocked, almost.

I'll never be a mother. Never have a baby.

Never know what it's like to carry a baby to its full term.

I don't know how I make it through the appointment. The whole time I'm heading back to work, I'm thinking about this. I try to tell myself that, hey, it's fine. I've never wanted to be a mother, and I'm not cut out for it either.

So, why am I so upset? I'd be a shit mother.

But deep down, I'm broken beyond words.

I didn't know it at the time how Dan would completely destroy my life and take away choices from me that weren't his to take. He left me infertile.

There are other options. There are other options. I keep telling myself this.

Yet, for some reason, it's not enough. Not right now.

I enter the café and put on my apron. All the noise around me has turned into background noise. All I can hear is the voice in my head screaming. I should go home and call in sick.

I shouldn't be here.

But I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts. I'd rather distract myself.

My coworker touches my arm and asks me if I'm alright. I smile at her and say, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking, Janice."

She doesn't look convinced.

I serve tables and take orders, and thankfully, I don't make any mistakes. My next customer is the biker from yesterday, and he gives me this long look that makes me want to snap at him. Instead, I ask politely, "What can I get you?"

"Black coffee."

I get him his drink, and then go about my business. But something happens as I'm carrying a tray of iced tea to some young women in the back. There are four of them, and one of them's pregnant. The others are rubbing her belly and making jokes about the baby being a future soccer player because of how hard he kicks.

And I just...fall apart.

I push past everyone and make it to the back of the restaurant, stopping only when I reach the alleyway. Thankfully, nobody stops me.

I rest my back against the rough wall and sink to the ground amidst the boxes and all the trash. I don't even care.

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