Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 174

Sienna:

The room was quiet, too quiet for the storm that brewed inside me. It was too quiet for the pain that I’ve been living in for the past few days. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hide the anger that I felt, the resentment that boiled inside of me.

I sat at the edge of the bed, my fingers playing with the hem of the blanket, eyes fixed on the crack between the floorboards. Damon hadn’t spoken since I told him I needed space. He hadn’t pushed. Hadn’t pried. And maybe that should’ve made things easier. But it didn’t.

If anything, it made the ache inside me sharper.

It only made me feel more alone, though I knew that I shouldn’t say I knew that I was the one who requested. So I knew that I should be happy, that I was getting my Peace of Mind, but I was growing angrier with myself, with those that surrounded me, with those that I believed knew a lot and did not tell me. Even Alpha Kael, the man who had hid things from me, I couldn’t bring myself to just easily ignore it. He knew that I had a sister, dead or alive. I did not even know that she existed.

I heard the soft creak of the nursery door. His footsteps were slow, measured. My heart quickened anyway. I looked at him, not wanting him to speak, but I knew that he would. I wouldn’t be able to avoid talking to everyone forever.

“Sienna,” he said gently, as if afraid I might break if he was too loud.

“She’s asleep?” I asked instead, my voice low.

“She is.” He said, his voice just above a whisper. “I made sure I was in the nursery before I came here because tonight I don’t want you to go there. The maids already know to take care of her.”

“They always known to take care of her. You make sure that they have that as an instruction.” I said, looking away from him.

I felt the bed dip beside me as he sat down, the warmth of his presence slowly chasing away the cold that clung to my skin. He extended his hand, I could feel it. He slowly put it on my shoulder, gently squeezing it. I closed my eyes, avoiding his gaze. If he had turned me to look at him, I did not want him to see the tears that were falling from my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For everything. For making you feel like you weren’t enough when you always have been. I know that you are being quiet to suppress your pain, but I don’t want you to keep holding it in. I don’t want you to keep leaving and to keep feeling like you are alone. This is not something that I like Sienna.”

I closed my eyes, a breath catching in my throat. “I’m trying to forgive you, I’m trying to allow myself to know that you looked me in the eye and knew something like this and did not even tell me about it.” I said honestly. “But I need time.”

“I’ll wait,” he said without hesitation. “As long as it takes. I’m going to be here by your side, but know that I did not keep it to myself for long. I had a hard time finding the right words to tell you. You need to understand that this is not easy for me even to speak about, to think about.

Silence settled between us again, but this time, it didn’t feel as heavy. It felt like a thread, thin, but still holding. But this was not just about the secret alone. This was about everything that I’ve been forced to endure since I came here with my daughter, since I was pregnant, since they found me and treated me like I was nothing. Everything just piled up and now it was just threatening to explode.

He reached for my hand, and this time, I didn’t pull away.

“What good would I do to myself and to you if I throw my anger out at you? It is not going to change the facts, nor is it going to change the reality of how things are. I’m not going to be able to just heal from all of this and you’re not going to be able to cope with all the pain all at once. Eventually we’re just going to have to accept it. I just don’t know how I’m going to accept this by myself.” I said, wrapping an arm around myself. He looked at me, and I knew that he did not like this, but I also knew that he did not know how to say it. He knew that I did not want to listen to this.

We sat like that for a moment longer. Just breathing in the stillness between us.

“Can you hold me?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper. He opened his arms for me. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to get closer.

And when I leaned into him, he wrapped his arms around me instantly, pulling me into his chest like he’d been waiting all night for it. His chin rested on my head, and for the first time in hours, I let myself exhale.

I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring.

But for now… I let him hold me.

And for now, that was enough.