Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 291

Delilah:

The hallway was quiet. After the number of celebrations that were in town, it was hard for me to get used to the sudden quietness, though I did not understand why I felt it wrong for them to celebrate. It just felt hard.

I just knew the things were not going to go well. I knew that there was something that I wanted to remember, I just did not know what it was.

And the quietness, it just became too much.

It was the kind that presses in on your ears like silence has weight. It was the kind that made your heart throb as you looked away, trying to find where it came from, trying to find something to make a sound, to ease whatever it is that you’re feeling.

I sat on the window ledge, knees drawn to my chest, the glass cold against my back. Outside, the trees stood still, no wind left to carry away the dust of war. We had won, for now. But peace didn’t feel like peace. Not when my chest still felt like it might cave in at any moment.

Not when I felt like everything was getting lost, like something was building up and yet it was not something that I knew, not something that I understood. I wanted to. I just couldn’t.

I didn’t hear her coming until her scent hit me, cinnamon, warmth, something calm. Her perfume was one that I’ve grown used to around the house, though I knew that she rarely ever put it. It was just marked as her scent. I assumed that this was how things were here.

Sienna.

She didn’t speak right away, just eased herself down beside me. I didn’t look at her. I couldn’t. Not with everything that went on. Because I knew if I saw concern in her eyes, I’d break again. And I did not want to, not when I had him roaming around me like a plague. He was getting closer to me by the day, and it was getting harder for me to keep resisting him, to keep pushing him away.

After a long pause, she asked gently, “Are you really not going to forgive him? You do know that he is trying his best and yet you don’t seem to be giving him a chance.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I kept my eyes away from her as I tried my best not to break, as I did my best not to tear up, not to cry.

“Do you want the truth?” I asked. “Because I don’t think that he’s going to want to hear it from me.”

Sienna tilted her head. “You know that I’m here to listen to you, Delilah. I’m not here to judge you or change your decision. I don’t want to interfere in something that is not my concern, but I also want you to understand that you’re not alone. I don’t want you to feel like that.”

“I don’t know how to feel,” I said, my voice rough. “Every time I think I’m okay, something pulls me sideways again. Like my own heart doesn’t know where to stand. He hurt me, Siena. Not with words. With the idea that I might’ve meant something, and then hearing that I didn’t. I don’t know how to forgive someone for that. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to look him in the eye knowing that he just played me like a fool. Maybe he didn’t mean that, I don’t know, maybe he regretted it later, but what if I hadn’t heard him? Would I have known this side? If I didn’t hear him speak, would I have believed that what he said was true?”

Her hand brushed mine. A light touch. No pressure.

“You know that Ethan is willing to try, but you’re not just talking about him, are you?”

I squeezed her hand, shutting my eyes, but that knot in my chest refused to loosen.

She meant it. I knew she did.

But deep down, a small part of me whispered that I was still lost.

Still hers.

Still theirs.

And I wasn’t sure if anyone could save me from that.

Not even me.