Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 307

Delilah:

I had my arm wrapped around myself as I walked outside, wanting to somehow manage to forget all of this.

I pulled my shawl tighter around me. The breeze was gentle now. Clean. No blood in the wind, no screams underneath it. Whenever I closed my eyes, that was the only thing that I could see. The screams, the cries of pain, the howls, the anger, the rage. And that made it even worse, because I knew that it was over and yet it was not.

Just stars overhead, and the sound of footsteps behind me.

“I was hoping I’d find you here,” Ethan said softly. “You seem to find it in yourself to escape here. Walk around the veranda.”

I didn’t turn around at first. Just stood there, staring up at the sky. “Couldn’t sleep?”

He came to stand beside me. “Didn’t try. I didn’t want to think about sleep at this point, I just wanted to roam around. I believe that maybe it is because I’ve been resting for far too long.”

“Well, your body still needs it, and I know that many of us have told you that. Everyone seems to remind you of it. But I still have to. That is a way for us to show you that we do care about you.” His words made my chest ache because mostly I never had anyone to care about me. All my life I was forced to be the one to take care of myself. If not, it would be death. And I needed to survive.

For a while, neither of us said anything. His arm brushed against mine, and I didn’t move away. He was warm. Solid. Present in a way I hadn’t let myself trust until now. Though I did not want to admit it out loud, but his presence brought me peace. It grounded me in a way that I refused to want to admit.

“You always find me when I don’t want to be found,” I murmured. “Sometimes I just want to be alone and yet I still find you around me.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” he said. “I think… you want to be found. Just not saved. Sometimes dealing with pain alone is not a good thing. Maybe you just want someone to be by your side, but you refuse to want to admit it.”

I let out a soft laugh. “That sounds like something I’d say. You have grown to know me well.”

He glanced at me, a half-smile tugging at his lips. “Maybe I’ve been listening. And I’ve been taking notes, you know, that’s the best way to learn sometimes.”

A small smile formed on my lips as I looked away from him, avoiding his eyes for a moment. I took a breath, reminding myself that I needed to be calm, that I shouldn’t let myself give in to whatever feeling I was having. I was afraid of doing so.

I turned to him finally, studying the faint healing scar along his jaw. “You look better. Your wolf should have healed here, but it seems that you’ve taken a bigger toll.”

“I feel better,” he said. “Thanks to you. Had it not been you, I would be dead. But yes, most of us took more on themselves than they want to admit.”

“I didn’t do anything.” I said, and he raised an eyebrow. “All of us would have been dead if they managed to succeed in doing whatever it is that they wanted to do.”

“You stayed,” he said. “That’s more than most ever did. In spite of everything, you chose to stand back, to stay with us. You chose to fight by our side.”

My breath caught. “You’re not allowed to say things like that.”

“And you’re impossible.” He whispered. “Stubborn and arrogant sometimes, but you’re worth the fight. Every moment of it. You’re worth it.”

That made me smile.

“I still don’t know how to feel about any of this,” I said quietly. “The way the two of us are talking, the way we are engaging amongst one another, I just don’t know how I feel about it.”

“You don’t have to. Not tonight.” He said softly. “Tonight, you just have to allow yourself to give in. Because that’s where you want, and that’s what we both need for you to give in. And for you to try and just open up not only to me, but to everyone who’s around you.”

I didn’t say anything else.

He didn’t push.

And for once… that was enough.