Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 53

Sienna:

The garden was one of the few places in the pack house that still felt safe.

It was the one place where I wanted to be alone, away from Damon, who I knew was seeing me as nothing more than some kind of fool. I knew that everyone around was making sure to make me feel bad about my decision. I knew that I did a mistake, but I was getting tired of being reminded that I made the mistake.

My daughter was not a mistake and I was going to do it again if I had to. I was going to make sure to do everything that I could if I needed to do it again. I did not care whether or not they liked it. It was the truth. It was who I was.

Helpless, stupid and reckless, but I was willing to do what it took for my child.

Soft rays of the evening sun filtered through the trees, casting golden hues over the blooming flowers. The gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze filled the silence, and for the first time in days, I felt like I could breathe.

It was the first time where I was walking around without Damon following me like some kind of lost puppy. In his mind, I was the last puppy. But after he spoke to me today, after he had treated me the way that he did, as if I was some kind of prisoner here, I lost it.

I sat on the stone bench, my arms wrapped around myself as I stared blankly at the path ahead.

I was exhausted.

Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally.

Everything felt too much.

And worst of all… the way my heart still reacted to him.

I hated it.

Hated that I still cared.

I hated that a part of me wanted nothing more than to find an explanation to give.

Hated that a part of me wanted to understand him.

Hated that I saw past that I wanted to hold on to a friend that I did not want to lose, despite everything that he had done to me.

The sound of approaching footsteps broke me from my thoughts.

It was his scent that filled my nostrils before he approached me that caught my attention. It was the pack beta.

I glanced up just in time to see Ethan walking toward me, his hands in his pockets, his usual easy-going expression in place.

“You’re hiding,” he observed, standing in front of me. “And you are avoiding everyone that is around.”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “I wouldn’t call it hiding. Me avoiding people does not mean that I’m hiding, especially since I am sitting in the garden.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re sitting in the garden, alone, looking like you’d rather be anywhere but here. That sounds like hiding to me.”

I exhaled, rubbing my temples. “I’m just… trying to make sense of things. With everything going around against me, I believe that making sense of things is the better option for me.”

Ethan hummed, taking a seat beside me. “And how’s that going?”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Terribly. I don’t understand him. I don’t understand what he wants, why he keeps hovering around me when he clearly doesn’t want me here.”

Ethan sighed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Damon’s complicated, Sienna. He’s been raised to lead with strength, not emotion. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel, it just means he doesn’t know how to handle it. He is trying. You have to give him the benefit of doubt, of trying to understand that he wants to calculate things in his own way too.”

“I’m sorry.”

My head jerked up in surprise, my mouth parting slightly as I stared at him. “For being angry at you. For pushing you towards your limit. I’m sorry.”

Of all the things I had expected Damon to say… that had never even crossed my mind.

He didn’t move closer, didn’t try to intimidate me like he usually did. He just stood there, his gaze steady, waiting for my reaction.

I blinked.

“Are you sick?” I blurted before I could stop myself. “Because if you are, we can bring the pack doctor. You don’t need to come with me. I will be sure to bring her to you myself.”

A slow, unexpected chuckle left his lips.

And just like that, the weight in the air between us changed.

For the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel like we were enemies.

It didn’t feel like we were at war.

It just felt… natural.

Just like it used to be