Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 90

Damon:

The halls were quiet.

That kind of eerie quiet you only got in the dead of night, when the rest of the world slept, and all your thoughts came crawling out of whatever pit you buried them in during the day.

But I knew that now they were quiet after Giovanni’s visit. They were afraid that they would end up treasuring someone or something within the house, and they knew better than to play with that game, especially right now.

I stood outside Isla’s room for a while, staring at the faint light spilling under the door.

I hadn’t meant to come here. I had seen her earlier, I did not need to come and check on her now. But knowing that she was here… I couldn’t help but find myself wanting to come back. Hell, I told myself I wouldn’t. I told myself I’d give her space. That I didn’t need to know what she was doing or thinking every second.

But clearly, I was a fucking liar. And a bad one too.

I raised a hand, meaning to knock… but stopped.

I could hear the gentle creak of the rocking chair. The soft hum of Sienna’s voice as she whispered something to Isla. Her tone was low, soothing. Comforting in a way I didn’t think I deserved to listen in on.

Still, I stayed. Frozen there like a damn idiot, heart pounding in my ears like some fool watching from behind the glass.

I didn’t know what it was about tonight. I didn’t know why I found myself being so drawn to her, wanting to be by her side, not wanting to stay away from her.

Maybe it was what she did with my mother.

Maybe it was the way she looked at me when I said thank you. Like she didn’t trust it. Like she wasn’t sure I meant it. And maybe that pissed me off more than it should have.

Because I did mean it. I meant every single word that I said. And the fact that regardless of everything that I did to her, she came to comfort me, that was not something that I found myself expecting.

She of all people should not be comforting me. She should be willing to watch me with her in pain. Everything that I did to her, why would it matter to her whether or not I felt okay, whether or not I was comfortable?

I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. My heart raced against my chest and the clench that I felt was one that I could not just ignore.

Ethan was right.

Every time I pushed her, every time I snapped or growled or pretended like she didn’t matter, I lost another piece of her. I just pushed her further away from me when I wanted nothing more than to want her by my side. And if I didn’t figure out what the hell I was doing soon, there’d be nothing left to lose. And she was not a person that I wanted to lose.

My mother had been right too. I’d been avoiding what was in front of me for far too long. She was pushing her away too, but after everything that I did, my mother’s pushing was simply a reaction to her pain. What was mine? What was my excuse?

Sienna wasn’t just the mother of my child.

She was the girl I used to chase around the courtyard.

The friend I used to sneak desserts to when my mother wasn’t looking.

The one person who saw me when I was just Damon, not Alpha Lockwood.

And now?

Now, she was becoming the only thing that made this fucking house feel like something more than just stone and rules.

I straightened and knocked once.

No answer.

Sienna looked away, biting her lip. “I didn’t have much of a choice, Damon.”

“I know,” I admitted. “But you could’ve walked away after she was born. You didn’t. And I see that now.”

She didn’t respond.

I didn’t expect her to.

“I’ll go,” I muttered, turning toward the door.

“Damon?” Her voice stopped me. Quiet. Steady.

I looked over my shoulder.

She met my eyes. “You don’t have to keep leaving. Sometimes, you are actually welcome to stay…’

And just like that, the breath caught in my throat.

I nodded once, too stunned to say anything else, and walked out before I said something I couldn’t take back.

But the sound of her voice would stay with me.

And maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t keep leaving next time.