Clumsy Beast, Keep Your Paws Off novel Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Chapter 05: Refreshing Bath

[Host, please listen to me.] The voice had gone from chipper to urgent in the space of a heartbeat, the kind of tone a shopkeeper used when they saw their only paying customer walking toward the door.

[I’m not like those other systems you’ve heard about. Xuyu is different. We treat our hosts with respect, we do not issue punishments for failure, and we believe in rewarding our partners with benefits beyond anything this primitive beast world could ever provide.]

She raised one brow, unimpressed. "Mm-hm. Let me guess, you’re about to tell me that all I have to do is sign my soul away, save your little world from extinction, and in return, I’ll get a free set of steak knives."

[Better than steak knives, Host! If you agree to help us restore the beast world’s population and stability, you will have access to countless modern-world luxuries, each one more useful than the last.]

[To start you off on your new journey, we have prepared a newbie supply pack containing a full bathing kit...shampoo, soap, and a soft towel.]

Su Qinglan blinked slowly. "So... You’re saying, in exchange for me saving the world, you’ll give me soap?"

[Host, please don’t frame it like that, it’s a premium cleansing package!] Xuyu sounded genuinely distressed.

[And that’s only the beginning. You’ll receive more rewards for each completed mission. Without any risk or punishment, only privileges and support. All you need to do is help the world. Surely that is a fair exchange?]

She tilted her head, considering. It sounded far too generous.

In the apocalypse, anyone who claimed to give "only rewards, no punishments" was either lying, delusional, or about to drug you and steal your boots. "Alright," she said slowly, dragging the word out like she was testing its weight.

"But what happens if I still refuse?"

[Ah... well...] The voice, so energetic moments ago, faltered.

[Host, please don’t talk like that. Xuyu loves you. I personally selected you because I knew you could do this.]

[If you truly refuse, the upper management will recall me and assign me to another host who is willing to help. You will then be returned to your original world... where, I must regretfully inform you, you had already died at the time of your transmigration. Meaning...]

"Meaning I’ll be dead for real."

[Yes.] The system’s voice dipped low, almost mournful.

[And Xuyu will be very, very sad.]

Su Qinglan stared at the rippling surface of the river, water running down her chin, the cool current swirling against her legs. She wasn’t stupid.

She knew blackmail when she saw it, even if it was gift-wrapped in politeness and the promise of "no punishments." But as far as threats went, "help us or you go back to being a corpse" was a pretty airtight one.

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