The doctor’s words hit me like a freight train, knocking the air out of my chest and leaving nothing but raw pain behind. It spread through me in seconds, sharp and suffocating, until every part of me wanted to collapse.
I couldn’t take it in. My vision blurred, everything went dark, and I just slid to the floor.
“Avery.” Remy caught me before I fell all the way. “Come on, Avery. You have to be strong. If your mom could see you like this, it would break her heart too.”
I buried my face in Remy’s chest and just sobbed. I couldn’t stop.
The ICU was all glass walls, so I could see everything. Mom lay there on that narrow bed, completely still, tubes coming out of her everywhere. There were three machines lining up by her head, blinking and beeping, tracking every sign of life. The ventilator covered her face, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t really see her. Not the way I wanted to.
“Remy, she’s going to be okay, right? I think I saw her finger move.”
He pointed at the monitor. “Look, her oxygen’s at eighty. The doctor said as long as it stays above that, there’s still hope. It’s okay, Avery. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Remy stayed with me the whole time, barely leaving my side. He let me lean on him and rest for a bit, but he didn’t sleep at all. By morning, his eyes were bloodshot from staying up all night.
The sky turned pink as the sun came up, soft and gentle. It should have been a beautiful day.
But the miracle I wished for never came.
Doctors kept checking in, and every time, their faces just told me to prepare for the worst. My heart felt like it was being squeezed tighter and tighter, sinking so low I thought it might never come back up. The pain was so much, I could hardly breathe.
Remy never left, quietly doing whatever he could to help. He told me not to be too sad, that life and death weren’t up to us.
I knew all that. But knowing something doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially when it comes to family.
Mrs. Jones came to visit Mom. She held my hand, her eyes red and puffy, and talked to me for ages.
She told me Mom had already been seriously ill twice. Once last summer. Once just a month ago.
Two times, and I had no idea.
Remy pulled me tight, his tears mixing with mine. “Avery, if you need to hurt someone, hit me. None of this is your fault. Don’t do this to yourself. I can’t stand it.”
He whispered, “You’re not alone. You still have me. Please believe me, Avery. I’m not going anywhere.”
But all I wanted was my mom.
Another morning came, gray clouds hanging heavy in the sky, threatening rain.
I just knew, deep down, this would be Mom’s last morning here.
That kind of waiting, when you already know how it will end, is torture. It’s hopeless and it’s endless.
The doctor said her chances of waking up were almost zero.
I dropped to my knees, everything going dark, my world shrinking until there was nothing left at all.

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