Inferno Demon Riders MC: My Five Obsessed Bullies novel Chapter 120

Tae/Computer Guru/CG’s P.O.V.

I can’t believe I yelled at her like that.

I’ve never felt so fu.cking ashamed in my life. I have no idea why I acted like that. I’ve never felt this angry and helpless in my entire life. I never claimed to be a ma.n with all the answers, but this… I can barely even wrap my head around this.

The moment the words Silent Divine slipped past Bly’s lips, I went straight into denial. I didn’t want to believe it. We’d just found out that SD stood for Silent Divine. I’d been sifting through videos of the torture that place inflicts on kids. Bly talked about whippings, beatings, and se.xual assault, but I knew how deep it ran. I knew how little those words described what she’d actually been through.

To think that Sean is so delusional too… He took one glance at Blythe and decided she was his. He didn’t care about what he did to her at all. Sean, Daniel, Havoc… they fu.cking ruined everything we had planned. They tortured my poor innocent Blythe.

And then I made it fu.cking worse.

I just couldn’t help it. I couldn’t believe that Blythe was trying to defend Havoc. After what he did to her? After what he did to us?

This sh.it fu.cking hurts. All of it. Listening to what Blythe went through. Learning that Havoc fu.cking lied to us. This wedge that’s between me and the girl I love. It’s too damn much. I couldn’t control my anger. Not after what she told us. Not after what I’ve already seen on those videos.

This wasn’t just some silly lie Havoc told. I know that he didn’t know what Blythe was going through, but it doesn’t change what he did. It doesn’t change the fact that when I got wasted and sobbed to him on my 20th birthday, he still didn’t come clean. It doesn’t change the fact that my brother, one of my best friends, watched me drown in sorrow and heartbreak when he could have just told me the fu.cking truth!

Havoc watched me spiral, knowing he could have helped, and instead… all he did was watch.

~

Flashback; Age 20 ~

Years. It’s been fu.cking years. Years and years.

Five years since the last time I saw her face.

Three years since she was supposed to be here, in my arms.

Over a year since she got married.

Almost six months since she went missing.

I have so many questions.

Why didn’t she talk to us after she left? Why did she let her dad change her? Why didn’t she love me anymore? Why did she break our promises? Didn’t she know how much I needed her? Didn’t she miss me as badly as I missed her? Why didn’t she come back? Why’d she get married to someone who wasn’t me? Why did she run away from her husband? And why didn’t she come here? Where is she? Is she okay? Is she eating? Sleeping? Is she lonely? Did she run away with another lover? Does my fireball even still exist inside her?

Another day of no answers. Karma and Psy.cho have all but given up on her. They’re angry and hurt. Just like me, but they hide it better. They deal with it better. I can’t deal with it at all. I feel fu.cking hollowed out. I’m so devastated all the time. I don’t know how to pull myself out of this despair.

I need Blythe. I’m supposed to be with her right now. Even if it means sharing with my brothers. But she should be here right now.

Why isn’t she?

“Getting hammered again, I see,” Havoc teased me as he slid into the seat beside me. He pulled Roxy onto his lap, making her giggle. I ignored them, throwing back the rest of my glass before pouring myself more. “Rox, babe, tell CG that you could suck his co.ck and make him forget all about his troubles.”

This has become a nightly thing for us. I drink. Havoc throws the club sl.uts at me. I always push them away. But for what? I mean, honestly, she never came back.

Sh.it… she really never came back.

Did I mean nothing to her?

I tossed my glass back and just grabbed the bottle. Fu.ck it. I don’t plan to stop until the bottle’s gone anyway.

“You wanna have some fun, Guru?” Roxy whispered in my ear. She was se.xy as hell. Barely wearing anything. Soft lips brushing against my ear. But it did nothing for me.

“Sorry, babe, think I’m gonna go get some an 1 mumbled as I stood up, faking the bottle with me

“Yo, you gotta get outta your head man Havoc said after he caught up with me “There are other girls out there.”

“They’re hot Blythe, I muttered, not even looking at him

“It’s been years dude, you need to let her go,” he said.

I finally stopped and looked at him.

“She’s my everything.” I breathed out, the words making me wince. “She’s my heart, my soul…. You think I like holding onto her when I know she doesn’t want me?”

“You think I like this kind of torture?” I continued, ignoring him. “I miss her so fucking much it hurts. It gets harder and harder to breathe every single day without her. I… love her… so fucking much, and every day that she doesn’t come back is just a reminder that I’m not good enough for her. She doesn’t even care about me. She doesn’t love me. She just… left me like! never meant anything at all.”

“CG… Havoc said softly.

I shook my head, waving him off.

“I just want to be alone right now,” I mumbled before walking away.

And he let me.

“She said that his punishment should be up to her,” I mumbled.

“He lied to me,” Karma stated. “He broke an important club rule.”

“Not one that needs to be punished by death,” Psy.cho said gently.

“You want him to live?” Karma snapped, giving him an incredulous look.

“I don’t want my brother to die just because he made some stupid mistake as an 18-year-old kid,” he said.

“He had plenty of chances to come clean over the years,” I growled.

“That’s true, but he didn’t know what was going on with Bly-”

“Okay,” I cut Psy.cho off as I sat up more in my seat. “So what if he didn’t know? Does that make it all okay then? A little lie from a scared young boy? Yeah, that makes sense. Wanna know what doesn’t? My brother watching me drown in misery when he could have sent me a life-raft. He might not have known about what Bly was going through, but he knew what we were going through, what I was, what Angie was.”

“I know,” Psy.cho said. “Fu.ck, I know he’s been selfish, but I don’t think he deserves to die. I don’t think that Bly is going to be-”

“Bly is not the fu.cking president!” Karma hissed angrily.

“No, but she’s our ol’ lady,” Psy.cho snapped back. “She’s going to blame herself, think this is all her fault. We kill him, and we kill a piece of her, a piece of all of us. I think he should receive some kind of harsh punishment, but… killing him is going to do something to Bly that we won’t be able to bring her back from.”

“The club has rules,” Karma argued.

“And I agree with Dragon,” Psy.cho replied. “I think, just this once, Bly should come first. No other chapters need to know.”

“They’re going to wonder why our enforcer is no longer part of the club,” Karma said. “If you think he’s keeping his cut after this-”

“We can keep things quiet,” Psy.cho said. “We can figure this out. A good punishment. Not for Havoc, but for Blythe. Because she doesn’t deserve any more trauma.”

We knew he was right. We hated it, but we knew it. Bly was already freaking out. I’d already told them what happened. Dragon is devastated. None of us have any idea how to fix this.

“I’ll think about it,” Karma finally said. “He stays locked up for the next three days while I figure out what to do.”

And then it was settled. Just like that. Within the matter of a few hours, everything fell apart.

Havoc was no longer part of the Inferno’s Demon Riders MC.