Too Late for Regret (Annalise and Roger) novel Chapter 143

Analise’s POV

Trigger Warning: acid burn reference

Despite seeing her after she spilled the acid on herself, I was still shocked when I saw Tiffany lying on her bed. They are going to have to put her on watch if she ever sees the damage that she’s done. I shuddered to think of her being successful at getting it on me, as she’s no longer recognizable. The top right side of her head is missing hair. The right side of her face sustained most of the damage. Her right eye is milky, and I have no idea if she can even see out of it, or not, at the moment.

They have her arms strapped to the bed. I guess to keep her from trying to touch her face or pull off her dressings. I can tell that she’s in a great deal of pain. I heard her, as we were walking up mid–conversation. She was blaming me for her injuries. I wasn’t the one who came up with this plan. I wasn’t the one to go get the acid. We all begged her to cap that bottle. She is going to have a breakdown once she sees herself in the mirror. Even though we were warned that she had sustained significant damage, it was still startling to see.

Seth had turned his body in front of mine to block me from being splattered with any droplets. But acid was heavier than water, and didn’t travel far. You could see the path it took as it went down her body. She was covered in gauze and dressings, but you could still see how much of her body had been damaged. I saw her as she was being treated before she was transported. I knew beneath every one of those bandages was a great deal of damage.

I wasn’t trying to bully her, but I needed to know the real reason why she had targeted me all those years ago. It wasn’t because I was a snob. I was nice to the people who spoke to me. I was shy and avoided the ones who weren’t. I know that it wasn’t because of the arranged marriage either.

I’ve discussed it with my therapist several times. She told me that I might never know the true reason behind her actions. I knew I was pushing Tiffany. But I needed answers. I had to get her mad enough to respond to me. I wouldn’t have another opportunity to speak to her privately.

“I’d bet you would like that, wouldn’t you, Ana? But I’ve said all I’m going to say. I bet you thought you could work me up, so I would just blurt it out. Well, that won’t be happening, so you can just see yourself out. I’ve got nothing else to say to any of you. I hope that not knowing why drives you crazy,” Tiffany spat at me.

“It won’t. I just wanted to know,” I said with a shrug. “I think I already know why. You’re delusional, and in your distorted view, it made sense. That’s why I asked. I just wanted to see how you rationalized it in your head. I already knew that whatever it was would be warped, but I can see that it would be a complete waste of my time. I hope you get the help you need, Tiffany. I wish you well in prison,” I said before turning to slip back between my father and Seth.

“I’m not delusional. You’re just saying that to make excuses. But I won, Ana. Even now, your parents can see the truth. I’m better than you in every possible way. I deserved to be the one adored and respected just because of my last name. You just weren’t smart enough to cash in on your parents‘ guilt for working all the time. You just wanted their time and attention. But did you get it? They never even noticed you were getting hurt, not once. The only thing they noticed was that you blew up like a balloon. You reflected poorly as a member of their family. You were a disappointment to them,” Tiffany snapped out.

“That’s not true, we did spend time with Ana. She just got quiet and started staying in her room more often. I’ll admit we didn’t realize what was happening, but we always loved and cared for her. She’s our daughter, for God’s sake,” my father vehemently replied.

“She hid away from you, but you started leaving without her. Leaving her behind because she didn’t fit in with the Caldwell image. Holden and Seth left her behind first, and then you started doing it too. She could have been introduced properly to society. I was -and she should have been -but you kept her back. You were always a failure. Ugly and fat,” Tiffany said before laughing and then crying out in pain. “You’re just a sad, pathetic wanna–be. That’s what you’ll always be. An unwanted stain on your family’s name.”

“Tiffany, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things over the last ten years. You were jealous of me being a Caldwell, but you got every benefit I received and then some. The real reason is, you’re just a vicious person. A regular person wouldn’t have been able to stomach hurting another, especially for no reason. Not without feeling guilty about it. It’s just not normal behavior, and you’re still not sorry about it to this day,” I answered.

“That’s not true. You deserved everything you got. You looked down on me since we were kids. Always getting better grades than I did. Thinking I wasn’t smart enough. But who made the cheer team? It certainly wasn’t your fat ass, I can tell you that. You put too much stock in learning, and not enough in fitting in. That’s why no one helped you when I came after you. They could all see it too. Seth deserved to be a Caldwell. Everybody loves him, but you could never properly represent the family. Like I said, even before you gained weight, you were already an embarrassment to them,” Tiffany said.

She knew exactly what to say to me to cut me to the bone. Her comments normally hurt me very deeply, but I was past her lies. She’s striking out this hard now because I’m on to something, and I’m going to push even harder.

“You felt anger at your perceived position as being under me, but it wasn’t because of me or anything I said or did. You did it because you could. But let me suggest this to you. You were furious that Seth was at college, and doing whatever, and whoever, he wanted. Which made you furious. You were already jealous of me, and you came up with this warped plan to get justice for yourself when you hadn’t been wronged. It hit me earlier when you were telling Seth what you wanted him to say when you held us hostage. That wasn’t something a rational person would do. I think you told the truth in court. I contradicted you because I didn’t want Seth to feel guilty about it. But what he did was a part of it. Your jealousy of me and Seth’s ‘cheating‘ on you was the perfect storm. You decided I deserved it. How close am I?” I asked, watching her carefully.

I could see her biting back her words. I can tell that she wants to say it, but she doesn’t want me to have the validation. I don’t need her to admit it anymore; it’s written all over her face.

“You’re spot on, Ana. I’ve heard her vent to Mom over the years. I just never realized who she was talking about, until now. I thought she had outgrown her childish jealousy of you, but obviously she didn’t. She never mentioned what she had done to you, or we would have stopped her. It’s clear she excused hurting you because Seth ignored her advances. She would come up to college to visit us with Gretchen, and be furious if we were with anyone,” Holden’s voice came from behind us.