Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 258

Delilah:

I didn’t know how I made it to the infirmary.

I didn’t even know how I was still standing, how I was able to walk.

My feet carried me through the halls on instinct, but everything around me was a blur, muted voices, soft footsteps, distant echoes of a life I didn’t want to feel anymore. A life that I did not even understand, that I did not want to understand. That I thought that I would have a chance and only to realize that it was nothing more than a game, a lie.

My chest ached. My throat was raw. And no matter how hard I tried, the tears kept coming. I wiped them so many times to the point where I just gave up.

By the time I stood in front of Lysandra’s room, I knew that I was going to need to stop. It didn’t matter now. She was going through more hell than anyone would imagine. I couldn’t allow her to see my pain in my eyes.

I took a breath and wiped my tears one more time, knowing that I did not want her to see it and opening the door. I smiled at her, giving her the best smile that I could muster. The moment she looked up from her bed, her gaze fixed on mine, and I saw her expression shift.

She saw me.

Or at least what was left of me.

She saw the pain that was in my eyes, I knew, but I was not going to let her in now when it came to this.

“Delilah?” Her voice was soft. Careful. “Did anything happen? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, walking over to adjust the blankets around her. “You’re awake. I thought that you would be asleep. You took too many medications. You should be resting. Your body is still recovering.”

Her eyes didn’t leave my face. “You’ve been crying. Your eyes are very red.”

“I’m just tired,” I lied, forcing a faint smile. “Don’t worry about me. How are you feeling? Talk to me about that. Why are you awake and not asleep right now? You should be.”

She didn’t press. But she watched me with those clear, quiet eyes that made it hard to breathe. “I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I kept having a nightmare and now it’s just hard for me to go back to sleep.”

“You know that you need to get some rest. Your body needs to recover.”

“I know, but I can’t. You can’t just force sleep. Sometimes it just refuses to come.” She said, and I hummed in response.

I sat beside her on the edge of the bed, reaching out to smooth her hair away from her face. Her skin was warmer today. Her color better. She was healing, slowly. Despite what he tried to do to her, he did not manage to break her completely. At least I was there by her side. She was going to recover and I was going to make sure her of it.

“I want to tell you a story,” I said suddenly, my voice quieter than before. “Maybe it would help you get some rest, don’t you think?”

I stood before the mirror, staring at the reflection that didn’t look like me anymore. A reflection that I seemed to have avoided looking at because I thought that things would be real, but I was too stupid. That was too foolish to realize that reality was what I was living in. The fantasy that I wanted to believe to be true was nothing more than a dream.

Red eyes. Pale skin. A tightness around my mouth that wouldn’t soften.

“You’re pathetic,” I whispered to the girl in the glass. “Letting someone like him get under your skin. Allowing someone to get inside your heart to make you feel something that you shouldn’t have. How foolish are you? Do you not know who you are? Do you not remember?”

I wiped my face one last time.

“Snap out of it. You’ve got more important things to worry about now.” I said speaking to myself, voicing out my words, though making sure to look behind me to make sure that I did not wake her up.

I squared my shoulders. Forced the ache in my chest down where it couldn’t touch me.

“Ethan was never in the picture,” I said to myself. “And he never will be. No matter how painful it might be, you’re going to get that in your mind. You’re going to drill it inside of it. You have no other choice. You have things to do. And he is not going to be part of them. You’re not going to allow him to be.”

“Not now and not ever.”