Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 314

Lysandra:

He was asleep.

His breathing was even. It made me relax as I looked at him.

At least, until I realized that he wasn’t asleep.

His breathing had evened out, one hand resting over the bandage at his ribs, the other still gently curled in mine. The moonlight slipped in through the cracks in the infirmary walls, painting silver lines across his skin. For once, there was no screaming. No mist. No blood. Only… silence. It was peaceful. A word that I didn’t think that I would be hearing anytime soon. It was, however, fleeting regardless of me not wanting to admit it.

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked into his cell days ago and broke his chains. I didn’t know that I would be feeling something toward this. I certainly hadn’t expected to feel anything. Not like this. Not the weight in my chest that grew heavier the more I saw him hurt, and definitely not the warmth that bloomed when he looked at me like I was something more than just another ghost.

“Are you watching me again?” His voice was hoarse. Tired. But awake.

I blinked. “You’re not asleep? You should be resting.”

“I was.” He turned his head toward me. “But then I felt you staring. You breathe louder when you’re trying not to feel. And you tend to completely freeze when you don’t want anyone to realize that you’re awake.”

I smirked faintly. “You’re delirious.”

“Probably.” He shifted slowly, groaning. “But I’m not wrong. I can see the way that you are in your eyes.”

“I was just… thinking.”

“About?”

I hesitated. Then, “You.”

A beat passed. Then another. And for a moment, I almost hesitated to the point that I didn’t want him to look at me.

He turned his whole body to face me, wincing as he sat up against the headboard. He kept his eyes on me, and though I expected him to be playful, his expression was gentle. “What about me?”

“That I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted. “Not really. I don’t know how I am going to be able to explain or even express this.”

“Do what? What is it that you’re talking about?”

“Be close to someone without fearing they’ll leave. Especially judging by the circumstances.” I didn’t look at him. “Or worse. That I’ll ruin it before it even starts. You know, with Damon and all, and the past, Sienna…”

His silence said more than words ever could. I looked away from him as I feared the way he would be looking at me or even thinking about me.

“You’ve been through hell,” he said softly. “And you’re still here. That alone means you know how to fight. Whether it’s for others or yourself. You are fighting, for yourself, for everything that you believe in. As for what you used to know, what you grew into, you can’t keep thinking about it. You can’t just end up sticking to the past.”

“This isn’t a battlefield, Carter.” I whispered. “I am bound to my past and mistakes. I can’t just simply run away from them.”

He gave a weak, tired chuckle. “It kind of is. And if it is mistakes that we would be bound to, I doubt that we’d have enemies who are now friends.”

My gaze flicked to his face. “What if I mess this up? What if I end up ruining things?”

“You will.”

I stiffened.

“But so will I,” he added quickly. “Probably worse than you. I’m not exactly a steady man right now. I never was, not with the way that I felt, not with the way that I dealt with those that I loved, and definitely not with those that deserved me to be treating them better.”

I finally met his eyes. There was no sarcasm in them. No flirtation. Just honesty. And something else… something softer. Something fragile.

“I never asked you to stay,” he said, “but you did. And I’ll keep choosing you every time, as long as you keep showing up. I will not push you away, Lysandra.”

I looked at him for a long moment. “You say that now. But once things are done, we are just going to go back to our normal and separate ways.”

“I’ll say it tomorrow too.” He smiled. “And the day after. Unless you throw me off the balcony first. Which is very on-brand for you.”

“It runs in the blood, and I did argue with Damon about it more than once. I might be doing it to you.”

He laughed. “Exactly.”

“Then at least we fought together.”

My throat tightened.

He leaned forward, lips brushing my temple.

No pressure.

No demand.

Just… presence.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lysandra. Not unless you tell me to.”

I shook my head. “Don’t. I need… I need you to keep reminding me of that.”

“Then I will.”

“Even if I push you away?”

“Especially then.”

I curled into him, listening to the slow thud of his heart.

We weren’t perfect.

But we were trying.

And maybe that was enough for now.