Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 315

Sienna:

I watched them from the balcony, my fingers clenched around the railing. And though I didn’t want to admit it, I’ve been watching for hours.

Lysandra was seated beside Carter, feeding him like he hadn’t been a danger to us days ago. I should’ve felt angry. Or cautious. But I didn’t. Not tonight. Not after everything we had survived. There was something raw, something real about the way she looked at him. Not with pity. But with fire. With hope.

She was healing.

And that terrified me.

Because I hadn’t yet.

I tried to, but the idea of my own mother being in charge of all of this didn’t make it easier. It was actually more painful for me to deal with.

The wind moved through my hair, warm and heavy. The aftermath of war always smelled the same, ash, sweat, and soil. But underneath it tonight was something more subtle. Change. The kind that didn’t ask for permission.

It just lingered there and though I knew that it should be good, that we should all be happy about it, we were all scared because I knew that there was a lot to it.

“You’re tense.” Damon’s voice broke into my thoughts. He stepped beside me, arms crossed, his presence grounding like always. “Though you have been for the past few days and you haven’t been saying a word to me, Sienna.”

“I’m fine,” I replied, without looking at him. I knew that he was right and that he of all people could see through me. He could read my eyes and I knew that I’ve been doing my best to hide it, both from him, from everyone around, and more importantly, from my daughter, who I knew could sense everything about me despite her very young age.

He didn’t buy it. “You haven’t slept in two nights. You’ve been quiet, you barely leave the room unless it’s just to take care of Isla. You really don’t want me to think that you’re lying, Sienna.”

“Someone has to be awake.” I whispered. “With everything going on, someone has to keep an eye on things.”

“You don’t have to be alone while doing it.” He said, walking towards me. “With everything going on, I think that you know that your responsibility lies in so many other things. It doesn’t have to be this, and you don’t have to deprive yourself of falling asleep.”

I turned to him slowly. “You think I haven’t noticed how you flinch in your sleep? You think I haven’t seen the way Isla curls into me tighter when she hears a howl in the distance? We’re all still bleeding, Damon. Some wounds just aren’t visible. Our daughter is a baby and she’s senses our fear and our anger. Do you think that it’s not affecting me, Damon?”

He sighed, stepping behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “You carry too much. And that is not something that I want you to keep holding on to.”

“Someone has to. “}

“But not like this, Sienna.” His chin pressed to my shoulder. “Not when it’s breaking you. Because you know for a fact that, though you don’t want to admit it, it is.”

“I can’t afford to break. Not right now. They need me.” I whispered, looking away from him. “Everyone is holding on to something when it comes to me. They need me to be standing strong for them.”

“And I need you.” His voice dropped. “Whole. Just like they need you to be standing strong, I need you, baby.”

I leaned into him for a moment longer than I intended. “It’s not over, is it? We’re still going to go through a lot more when it comes to her and it’s not going to be over anytime soon, is it?”

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