Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 50

Damon:

I pushed Sienna harder than I should have.

But she did not complain of anything. She was willing to embrace it. It was as if this was something that she wanted to go with.

Every morning, I made sure she was outside, training with me. It started slow, simple movements, light sparring, basic exercises to help her rebuild her strength after childbirth.

But each day, I pushed her further.

A little longer. A little harder.

Each day I found myself wanting to spend a little more time with her throughout her training.

I told myself it was necessary. That she needed to be stronger, to protect herself, to be able to stand her ground if anything happened.

I told myself that she was going to need to grow stronger, that if she did not then things were going to turn against her and that was not something that I wanted to allow.

That was what I told myself.

That was what I was trying to convince myself with.

But deep down, I knew the truth.

Deep down I knew that it was only an excuse to give myself. Deep down I knew that things were not as simple as I was saying. As I was trying to convince myself.

I was looking for something.

I was fighting desperately to find it.

For the fire I used to see in her eyes when we were younger. For the determination that once had her chasing after me, refusing to be left behind.

I wanted to see if it was still there.

I wanted to believe that it was still there. I wanted her to know that it was still there.

And every time she fell, every time she pushed herself up with gritted teeth and sweat dripping from her brow, I knew that it was. I knew that she was willing to show me and prove to herself as well that she was the same girl that she was. She had grown older. That was perfect, but she was the one who did not change. I was the one who did. She matured up, yes, but she did not change.

She never gave up.

No matter how much she hated me, no matter how much she resented being here, she never gave up.

She was stubborn and she was willing to prove a point to both herself and to me, so that pack members were watching her. To those who were waiting for her to fail, she was doing her best to prove them and me wrong.

It was both frustrating and… something else.

Something I didn’t want to name.

Something that I could not wrap my hand around.

I noticed it most when she was around Isla.

When she thought no one was looking, she would let down her guard, her expression softening as she cradled our daughter.

She would hum softly to her, run her fingers gently over her tiny hands, her gaze filled with something I didn’t understand.

Something that made my chest tighten in a way I wasn’t used to.

But I wasn’t the only one who noticed her.

Ethan did too.

“And if there was?” I asked, glaring at him. He turned to face me, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked me dead in the eye.

Ethan exhaled through his nose, shaking his head slightly. “Then that would be a problem for you, wouldn’t it? It would give you a headache that you don’t want to deal with.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re playing with fire.”

He smirked. “Am I? Because from where I’m standing, you’re the one getting burned. I’m not getting burned, nor am I playing with it. If anything, I am trying my best to be friend, a person that finds herself being alone in a mess that she didn’t take part of by herself.”

I took a step closer, my voice dropping. “What the hell does that mean?”

Ethan didn’t waver. “It means that if you’re going to play the jealous act, maybe you should do something about it instead of glaring at me every time I talk to her.”

I clenched my fists. “I’m not jealous.”

Ethan laughed, shaking his head. “Right.’

He took a step back, his smirk fading into something more serious. “You can push her in training all you want. You can pretend like she’s just another responsibility. But the second you really look at her, Damon, the second you stop fighting whatever it is you’re feeling, maybe then you’ll understand why she’s not just another she-wolf.”

I said nothing.

Because I didn’t want to admit that he was right.

Instead, I turned on my heel and walked away, leaving his words hanging in the air.

But no matter how far I walked, I couldn’t shake them.

Because they were already buried too deep.