Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 63

Sienna:

The walls of my childhood room felt smaller than I remembered.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands resting in my lap, my mind spiraling with thoughts I couldn’t control. The events of the last few hours replayed over and over like a broken record.

Kael had been shot.

Damon’s father, the man who had taken me in when I had nowhere to go, the man who raised me as his own daughter when I was to be left for dead as a child, a helpless child who lost her parents, was fighting for his life.

And Evelyn… she had looked at me with such raw fury, such unfiltered hatred, that it had left a scar deeper than any physical wound ever could. The way that the woman who raised me as her daughter, the woman who was with me, telling me that she was happy to see me with her son, looked at me with more rage than I ever saw in her eyes.

Because she blamed me.

She blamed me for everything that happened. She blamed my daughter and I for what she believes happened. She believed that Kael’s attack was a message from Giovanni. Maybe it was…

A warning for Lysandra’s absence from the pack. It was him fighting back for his daughter’s right to come back. He wanted to make us all weaken, he wanted her to come back, and he was going to stop at nothing…

I saw that today.

I saw it the second they brought Alpha Kael over…

And who was the cause of that?

Me.

They blamed me running for what happened to him.

But could I have done?

I closed my eyes, gripping the fabric of my dress tightly as I tried to breathe through the lump in my throat. Isla cried, snapping me out of my thoughts, clearly feeling my distress and pain.

“Shh, little wolf, mama is okay.” I whispered as I walked toward her bassinet, lifting her in my arms as I did. She whimpered, and I forced myself to close my eyes as to stop my tears from falling. This wasn’t something that I wanted, I didn’t want him to get hurt…

I had spent the past few months fighting for some kind of place here, fighting for my daughter, for my own survival.

I rocked my little one as I tried to calm her down, despite the pain that I was feeling, despite the anger that I was feeling. With myself and with everything that was happening.

“Shh, get some sleep.” I whispered, trying to hear my own voice, trying to remind myself that I was a mother that needed to take care of my girl.

But I couldn’t help but find myself feeling like I was back to square one.

The unwanted Omega.

The one who never should have been here in the first place.

The one who should have found it in herself to just lose her baby and just pretend that she never existed. I should have forgotten about the rejection, about Damon touching me. I shouldn’t have put him or the pack through this.

A soft knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts.

I turned just as the door creaked open, revealing Damon standing there. His eyes met mine for a moment, but I was quick to look away from him, not wanting to meet his gaze.

I stiffened.

I wasn’t sure what I expected from him, but I wasn’t prepared to deal with him right now. I wasn’t ready to deal with what he was going to tell me. I didn’t want to think that Alpha Kael…

No.

I wasn’t going to allow myself to think of something like this.

Not when his mother’s words were still ringing in my ears.

But he didn’t move further into the room. He just stood there, leaning against the doorway, his eyes scanning me carefully.

“She didn’t mean it,” he finally said. His voice was steady, unreadable. “She is hurt and is frightened…”

I let out a hollow laugh, shaking my head. “She did mean it, Damon. I think that you know that very well.” He didn’t argue. Because he knew I was right.

I looked away, staring at the floor. “She blames me for what happened to him, Damon.”

Damon studied me for a long moment, then sighed. “Get some rest, Sienna. It has been a long day and Isla needs you to be strong in the morning. I believe that you need to take care of her, as a mother should, or…”

He stopped himself midstance, but I didn’t need him to keep going. I really was back to square one to the point where even he did not believe that I was fit to be a mother, to be her mother.

I almost laughed at the absurdity of it.

Rest.

As if my mind would ever allow that.

As if anything about this situation was calm enough for me to close my eyes without guilt clawing at my throat.

But I didn’t argue.

Instead, I nodded stiffly, and Damon took it as his cue to leave.

He turned toward the door but hesitated.

For a second, I thought he might say something else.

Something real.

Something that wasn’t just a command or another reminder that he was the Alpha and I was supposed to listen.

“I would suggest that you keep my words in mind. Because this is bigger than everything that has happened until today. And I doubt that you need to put yourself through more danger than you already have until today…”

And with that said, he just nodded and walked out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Alone with the chaos inside me.

And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.