Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 74

Damon:

I stepped out of the bedroom without saying a word.

I didn’t need to say anything anyway, there was nothing to be said.

Sienna didn’t stop me.

She didn’t ask me to stay.

She did not ask me to stay in the bedroom any longer than she did. She knew that I did not sleep in the room. She was annoyed by it, I could tell, but she did not ask for anything more than what I saw.

And maybe that made things easier. Or maybe it made them worse. Maybe they annoyed me even more than I wanted to be.

My steps echoed down the hallway as I walked past the now-familiar corridor that led to my room. Instead of going back inside, I kept walking, straight to the guest room across the hall where I’d spent the night.

Alone.

Away from all the conflict, away from everything that I was going to have to deal with and away from all the anger that I wanted to feel. It was just me, myself and the bed little sanctuary that I believed that I had.

Because being in the same bed with her… It was too much.

Not because I didn’t want to.

But because I did.

Too much.

Because I wanted it more than I would dare to admit, and because it annoyed me to know that it was not happening already.

The second I stepped out of the room, I did not dare bring myself to walk inside it again. I would rather not force myself to be in a situation like this one. Because I knew that if I did, I knew that if I gave in to my weakness, I was not going to leave. That was why I had a towards the guest room the second that I left her.

I barely slept.

My head was a warzone.

I didn’t have any work to take care of. I didn’t have anything to do with that last night. But I wanted to stay away from her. I needed to stay away from her.

Her voice. Her scent. Her presence.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. Heard her laugh from when we were kids. Saw her arms wrapped around Isla, her soft whispers as she calmed our daughter when she stirred.

That same daughter she thought I didn’t want. The same daughter that I was now neglecting. The same daughter that I knew that I was in conflict because of.

That same woman I pushed away even when every instinct in my body told me to pull her closer.

I let out a long breath as I walked into the Infirmary, my eyes automatically finding the familiar room at the far end.

I stopped just outside and stared at the closed door. The one with my father behind it.

He had taken a bullet.

And somehow, I felt like I was the one bleeding.

I felt like I was the one who was suffering the pain of it on a daily basis.

The guards stationed at the hallway nodded as I walked past them. I pushed the door open gently, stepping inside.

Dad was awake.

Sitting up, despite the IVs and the instructions to rest.

“You should be lying down,” I muttered. “And you should be resting.”

“And you should stop looking like the world is ending,” he countered, his voice rough but steady. “So, we both broke the rules.”

I pulled the chair closer and sat down beside him, shaking my head. “I’ve got things under control. You don’t need to keep worrying about me.”

I turned around, my jaw clenched. “This is none of your concern.”

“You made it my concern the second you moved her into your room,” she hissed. “You made it my concern the second you decided to challenge me, the second you decided that she deserved more from this pack than what she earned.”

“I’m not discussing this with you.”

“You never do.” She shook her head in disbelief. “You always shut down and disappear when things get too real.”

“I have work to do,” I growled. “You want to blame someone for what happened to Father? Blame Giovanni. Not Sienna. Not me.”

“She’s part of why this happened,” she bit out. “Giovanni made it clear, Lysandra was out, and Sienna is in. This was a message, and you know it.”

“I said I’m not discussing this with you.”

I didn’t wait for her response. I turned and stormed out the front doors of the infirmary.

The cold morning air hit me like a slap to the face. But I didn’t stop.

Not for her.

Not for me.

Not even for Sienna.

Because if I did, I might admit what was really happening.

And I wasn’t ready for that.

Not yet.