Alpha Damon (Sienna) novel Chapter 80

Sienna:

The door clicked shut behind him, but the echo lingered in my chest like thunder that never quite fades.

For a few moments I did not move at all.

I stood there, unmoving, my breath caught somewhere between frustration and exhaustion. He had walked out again. No apology. No explanation. Just a cold stare and a closed door.

Typical Damon Lockwood.

It seemed to me that he was getting fed up of this. Maybe I was too, Maybe I was not. But I dared not admit it, Not to him and not to myself.

I crossed my arms over my chest and sank onto the edge of the bed, the sheets still untouched, perfectly smoothed from the morning. I did not have the energy to argue with anyone, not anymore. After my conversation with Evelyn, after the way things went, I just found myself being completely lost. One moment I was an outcast and the next everyone was roaming around me as if wanting me to stay around them.

But the main thing that I thought about was him.

The only thing that I found myself getting lost and as I looked at myself in the mirror, as I felt a bond, as I felt like clenching my chest, everything just wronged around him.

I hated how much space he still took up in my thoughts.

I hated how much, despite everything, I couldn’t bring myself to despise him. After everything that he’s done to me, I still found myself thinking about him. I still found myself wondering how he was going to feel. I still found myself looking for him, staring into space as I tried to find a reason to give him an excuse to what he was doing.

How easy it was for him to walk into a room and knock the air out of me with a single look. He had no idea, or maybe he did, how much he confused me. One minute he was cold and distant, the next he was soft, teasing, almost human. Almost the boy I once knew.

Almost.

I leaned back, staring at the ceiling. My old room looked the same, but it didn’t feel the same anymore. Not since Isla was born. Not since Damon. Not since everything changed.

This room did not hold the same meaning that it did Once Upon a time. It did not hold the same piece that I had when I was staying here. When they told me about my parents home, that it was still there, that they wanted me to stay there, I found myself thinking that it was absurd. Little did I know that now I missed being there.

My fingers instinctively went to the necklace I no longer wore. A habit. A memory. A loss.

A light knock broke through my thoughts.

Not him again.

My wolf was still too weak for me to be able to identify who was knocking on the door. She still hasn’t recovered from the trauma of giving birth. This was something that I did not understand, but I knew better than to question it. Right now, with everything that she was going through, with everything that I’ve been through, with the rejection and the pain of it, me carrying a child, everything was just confusing.

But when I opened the door, I looked at the maid whose eyes were fixed on the ground. “Luna Evelyn instructed that we take care of Isla. She says that you’re going to need to rest after work.”

I let out a slow breath and leaned back in the chair, the quiet ticking of the small clock on the wall slowly lulling the tension in my shoulders into something softer.

Still, despite everything, despite the chaos and the hurt and the push-and-pull of emotions I couldn’t quite name… I thought of Damon.

Of the way he looked at me before he left.

Like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

Like part of him didn’t want to go.

And somehow, that hurt more than if he had just slammed the door and walked out like he used to.

Maybe it was easier when he didn’t pretend to care.

Maybe it was easier when I didn’t wish he did.